Isaiah 58

Its just post after post this morning.  I think I've had blogging withdrawal lately!  I'm still in the quiet of the morning because everyone is still asleep, including Precious Maryn who is blissfully resting motionlessly on my chest.  I have evolved from my pre-walk emotional purging post, to my post-walk gratitude post to my God-nudging, favor of the Lord, Holy-Spirit caring for my soul post.  I'm sure this is the one you are all waiting for.  Thanks for your patience.

Isaiah 58 was a gift to me during our adoption.  It was prophesied to us and anonymously given more than once as an encouraging Word from God and these powerful, ancient words have been very grounding and reassuring to me for a year now.  This morning I just re-read them and this passage stuck out.  This is a real life example of how God can know exactly what I am feeling, what I need to hear, and how to help me.  As I read the words, He reminded me of all the ways I have recently done just these things, with vivid pictures in my head.  He is such a good God who teaches, disciplines, loves, thanks and encourages us if we just get out of the pity party pool and jump into His waters, his rivers of living water that flow and heal and strengthen us.  Praise you Abba Father.  Thank you for the ancient words that are still living and powerful today!

Isaiah 58:  6-12   "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:  to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke:  Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?  Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear(Yes!); then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear gaurd.  Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say:  Here am I.  "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.  The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.  Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Amen, Lord.  Amen.  Have a great day everyone...I plan to!

Someday I want to have Christmas in July. Wouldn't that be fun? By the way, my nordic pine tree plan that I bought on Christmas Eve is thriving on the north side of my house out in the fresh air. Christmas can last all year long I guess!

Celebrate the people you love.  Find lots of opportunities to say affirming things to your spouse, your parents, your children.  Tell a little child who is not your own how important s/he is and build others up.  Please.  Celebrate your children and any other children you encounter.  Tell all the children that they deserve to be loved and treated well and not hurt. 

I am calling on the Saints among us to do battle against the evil of the day.  I am begging all of the nurturers of the world to reach out and hug children and get involved in someone's life, whether it is comfortable or not.  Affect a life for the glory of the Lord.  Please. 

Celebrate your family and call your grandma on her birthday and take your kids for ice cream and give away a plate of cookies.  Please. 

Lately my work in public health has been heavy regarding child abuse and my heart is heavy and my plate is full and I feel so very helpless to change things in homes where children are being hurt.  Yesterday alone I learned of more than one new situation....all rumor and gossip of course....where children are likely suffering at the hand of their parents.  I pray to God that He will give me wisdom to know how to handle it and that He will supernaturally protect these kids from the very people who are supposed to protect them. 

A 11-year old girl and I fantasized yesterday about building a big, big house where anyone could come and stay if they were scared, hurt, lonely, sad, lost or unsure.  We would live there and help everyone to feel better and enjoy life better and learn that they deserve to be celebrated and feel joyful.  It was a great fantasy.  "I hope that is what Heaven will be like"  I told this girl.  (She wasn't the one abused, just a friend)

We are going on vacation tomorrow and as you can tell from my thoughts, this break is very much due!  Our family is going to the lakes to stay with my dad and step-mom for a week and go boating, spash on the beach, do family stuff and rest.  I can't wait. 

Celebrate the children in your lives.   Please.  Stick your tongue out at satan and his legion of evil and don't yield to fear and dispair and all the yuck of our present age.  Love others and fight against the fear and pain and hate.  He can't have our kids, or anyone else's.  He just can't.

Nope, I didn't fall off the end of that bridge that led right into the water.  I do feel like I have been running back and forth on it however!  These are very full days around our house and Precious is moving so fast that we can't stop and contemplate much.  I have all I can do to keep up with her, much less stay a step ahead.  I know some of you out there have really big families and I cannot fathom what your days are like!  I feel like I spend the entire day cooking and cleaning and nurturing...all before and after my work days!  I'm grateful to only work part time.  I can't imagine how much harder it is with full time work outside the home! 

Precious Maryn can find her nose.  I know that doesn't seem like much to many of you but we can say, "Precious, where's your nose" and sometimes she sticks up her little pointer finger and moves it right to her beautiful little nose.  FYI, this is way ahead of typical development!  :)  She can also do the sign for more but has no idea why she is doing it, she just mimics me.  It's just so fun to teach her things!  Last night in bed when she should have been asleep, instead she was yapping and goofing off and practicing the finger to nose trick, over and over.  She is just so great.  Once she mastered crawling she popped up on her feet and now she is determined to walk.  She will cling to my skirt, the dog, anything she can get her hands on while she is standing.  Unfortunately she also still likes to bounce alot so she bangs her head under the dining table, etc.  My last 2 children were boys and when they did this, it didn't phase them much.  Precious feels everything much more intensely than they ever did.  Blood-curdling screams are heard around the house often these days even though there has not been blood (thank goodness).  I don't get on the computer much because she bangs away at it and tips over coffee cups and has this Lamar James wingspan with her arms that reaches about 3 feet past her body every time she swings an arm.  I'm frantically typing now before she wakes up and before I head out for my morning walk with the dog. 

My friend Jenny is traveling to India today to go get her daughter.  Thank you everyone for your prayers for her.  Can you imagine, traveling to India today and coming home with another child to have and hold and love and raise?  Wow.  Godspeed Jenny! 

Here is a bridge that goes...where? What if God says, "follow this path" and then you land in the water? Peter walked on the water, but only when he fixed his eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). My question on this saturday night is this: God could put me on this path and I could cross this bridge and end up very wet. Would he say, "trust me enough to walk on the water" or would he say, "swim" or would he say "how does it feel to be soaking wet?" Maybe, just maybe the outcome on the other end is not the point. Maybe the journey is. Maybe the bridge is the point. What makes the view from the bridge better than the view before the first step? I'm guessing that even if I ended up treading water, feeling foolish, I would not regret the steps I took on the bridge if that is where the Lord led me to go. My money's on the bridge. How about yours?

Some summer pictures of my four beautiful babies!

Wants and needs

We are fast approaching a season of life with our kids where we all need to understand the difference between wants and needs.  With that knowledge must also come the discipline and self-control to focus on the needs and not pour energy and resources into the wants.  Yuck.  Wants are waaaayyyyyy more fun!  Wants are what make us smile and feel happy and satisfied.  Wants are the stuff we learn to want from those around us...wants are temporal, earthly and fleeting.  Wants are not just more toys or trips to the movies or childhood indulgences, we adults feed our own wants all the time! 

Our children are old enough now to begin to distinguish the difference between wants and needs.  By God's great mercy He is giving us an opportunity to learn and to teach this to our kids because money is tight everywhere and lots of people do without...and our children will have to eventually get jobs to supply their wants!  We will provide for their needs but there are other things they want that we don't have to give them. 

Line this thinking up with God.  In God's economy, what are the wants and what are the needs?  Seriously.  For me, the wants list is very long and powerful and extravagant.  The needs list is much shorter.  I need Him.  I need Him every hour.  I need Him every day and I need salvation and the presence of Holy God in my life.  Always.  I need to read scripture and worship and pray and sit before the throne of grace with confidence.  I need spiritual friends who go hard after God.  I need the fruit of the Spirit manifested in me.  I need to put on the full armor of God over and over and over.  

What do I want again?  I seem to have forgotten.  All of a sudden, the picture is much clearer. 

These are the 4 children that are "mine" but I claim many, many, more. Hundreds more. I want to live my life in such a way that thousands upon thousands of children feel special and have an encounter with the living Lord, because an adult like me took time to notice them, to walk with them and to share life. These are the babies who come back to my nest and I am so proud to be their mama. They are good kids who have shared me this week with other kids and have been helpful and generous and sweet. The nest is full of sweet baby birds tonight and I am just grateful.

I was writing a wordy post about VBS and my role which is to drive the kids from the latino church we are partnering with.  It was alot of rambling late at night from a tired writer and so I just mass-deleted it.  Vacation Bible School, in my familiar home church, with diverse ethnic culture is beautiful.  I've taken the same 5 or so kids back and forth every night this week and tomorrow is the last night.  I will miss them.  I hope and pray that by being the humble servant who picked them up and dropped them off, I have built a pathway, a bridge to their lives that I can cross often. 

I want to build bridges.  I want to offer a path to Christ, just through the way I live my life.  I want to focus on children because adults are much more unpredictable and much more selfish.  My eyes are on the kids.  I'm willing to do the kingdom work for the kids.  Others can focus on the grown-ups...let me make the pathways for the kids. 

Lord, help me to have wisdom and passion and an abundant supply of patience for your children.  Light a fire in others to feel that way about the adults.  Amen.

Nothing is impossible with God

I sang it in a song, saw it in a movie (Facing the Giants), heard it on a sermon on the radio...heard it in my head...prayed it back to the Father...pleaded with my own brain to own it as truth...sang it again in a song...prophesied it to a friend who needed a word of encouragement...heard God say it back to me...prayed it back to Him.  Nothing is impossible with God. 

He does not have to give us everything we ask for, or want or need.  But He can.  He does not need to hear the right sequence of words in a prayer to unlock the magic door to the treasure chest, to lavish us with His treasure.  But He can.  We may ask.  He does not block or reprimand a "bad" prayer.  Pray it.  Please.  All of it.  Pray your heart, your deepest fear, your longing, your dreams, your whispering hopes.  Pray it and believe that nothing is impossible for God or with God.  Don't demand it or "claim it" but believe that nothing is impossible with God.

God doesn't need money.  We think we do.  Money is the exchange tool in our society.  I want more of it and I'm sure everyone else does as well...except the babies.  They don't need money.  Pets, they don't need it either.  They need food, clothing, shelter and love.  So do we.  All the money is God's.  He can give it and take it away and move it around and make it available or just ignore it and grant our requests in spite of it.  God doesn't need our money or anyone else's.  Crazy.  Nothing is impossible with God.

My lovely friend and masseuse was sharing a conversation with me as I was getting my monthly massage.  Nope, can't afford it and yet I do it anyway because it is good for me.  It feels good and makes me a better person.  We were talking about how God could just transport us from one place to another if he wanted to.  I think it was Phillip in the bible that had that experience.  He didn't need to take a train or a plane or anything else to move to where God wanted him to go.  God just plucked him out of one scene and into another one.  Nothing is impossible with God.  He's a really big God and He is really full of miracles and wonders and glory and love.  I am so, so glad I am reaching for Him and not for the things of this world.

Join me.

Rejoice in the Lord always; I will say it again, Rejoice!   Philipians 4:4

thought for the day:  It's a choice to rejoice.
mantra for the day:  It's a choice to rejoice.
act of obedience for the day:  It's a choice to rejoice.
the honor of following Jesus:  It's a choice to rejoice.

We spontaneously picked up and packed a cooler and headed to a local pond for the afternoon. It was a beautiful, relaxing sunday for the Kredits!

confessions

1.  I'm really bad at discipline.  I want to give my kids (and myself) all the good stuff and not follow through with the reprimand.  I definitely need to work on this.

2.  I love new stuff.  I especially love to see my kids in new jammies with the tags just cut off.  Love it.

3.  I want to adopt about 2-4 more children.  I know we probably won't, but I want to give at least this many a name and a home and a family. 

4.  The word divorce makes my stomach hurt.

5.  I cry whenever I have to say good-bye or talk to someone else who does.

6.  When my insides feel tumultuous, I make lists.

7.  I am severely claustrophobic...physically and spiritually and mentally and emotionally.

8.  I wish romance was one of the 5 food groups.

9.  I don't really mind getting older.

10.  Music is beautiful to me.

One of my favorite things about blogging is that I have been able to share life with families around the country and the world, namely India, that otherwise would not have been possible.  I write on my own blog just a fraction of the time that is spent reading about others.  My friend Jenny that I met blogging, and through Katelyn's Fund connections, has been waiting for 2 years to bring their daughter home from India.  International adoption is quite different from domestic adoption so I have been able to see it through her story and marvel at her faithful and fierce commitment to trusting the Lord, being patient and celebrating life as they wait.  Please lift up a prayer for this family as they are so close to getting passports in place and able to travel...and yet the waiting is so hard.  (Needham Family on the right side bar here.)
Lord God, help me to not just read the stories that mommies blog, but to be an intercessor for them.  Help me to see what you are saying, what words your Holy Spirit is whispering between the lines and behind the pictures so that I can abide in you as I keep pace with other women this way.  God, hear our prayers for the children of the world.  Reach down and move and put them on the path to families and sponsors and others who can go into the mission field to help and to make life better for your kids. 

Being a parent is so hard, Lord.  How much harder is it to be the daddy to us all?  You are amazing, Abba Father...thank you for being our adoptive Father and Sovereign God.  Amen.

prayer

If I had to pick the top 2 things I am  most interested in and passionate about, they would have to be prayer and children.  Prayer and children give me hope and help me see God and know Him better.  If I could write a song right now, it would say that.  I have dreams of being a writer and some of them involve writing songs...so there is this song in my spirit that sings about talking to the Father and walking with his babies...

My new song on the playlist is called Healer.  It was new to me and I heard it tonight for the first time at our prayer meeting, where the focus was on healing.  If music bothers you when you read, just scroll down to the ipod on the right side and hit the pause button.  If not, enjoy the song.

Dear Father God, I pray again for healing.  I pray for my own brokenness and need for your healing touch in me, to restore me to who you want me to be.  Heal me.  I pray for all those who don't know how to cry out to you, to ask for healing and to receive it in your precious, holy name.  Heal them, Lord.  I pray for the children tonight, God.  Especially those that don't have a mommy and daddy and who don't get tucked into bed at night or have their hurts kissed or have their birthdays celebrated.  Heal those broken ones, God and lead them to families.  I pray for sickness and disease in our society, in our schools, in our families, in our marriages.  Heal us.  I pray for all that is not well to be healed in your name, Jesus.  You will come again to make wrong things right and you, our Healer, will be glorified and we will see healing.  That will be a very good day.  I love you, Healer God.  Thank you, Abba Father.  Bless you Lord and savior and help us to join you in healing, in desiring healing and wellness.  Help me to be on your team to make the wrong things right.  Amen.

A few of my favorite things:

I'm feeling cranky, hot and tired and have a bit more of my work day left.  I'm at a coffee shop waiting for a call to go do my last visit.  Rather than complain and wallow in my mood, I am chosing a different tactic.  Here are a few of my favorite summer things....
1.  Birdsong on an early morning walk, just after sunrise.
2.  The smell of coppertone sun screen.  It's just so summer-time.
3.  All kinds of melons and all kinds of berries.
4.  Flip flops and pedicures.
5.  Burgers on the grill.
6.  Family vacations with lots of pictures.
7.  Cotton skirts and t-shirts...my uniform of choice.
8.  Corn on the cob next to a fresh tomato BLT.
9.  Air conditioning.
10.  Fun music on the radio that sings of easy living and love...with a funky beat.

Our couple's bible study meets once a month, without kids. This group has met for about 5 years now and we seldom get all the kids together. One family didn't make it but we substituted with another family so here is a good representation of the children of the couples. We enjoyed a day at the lake yesterday instead of the typical evening study and dessert and it was so much fun.

As a couple, we do bible study to grow our faith and walk with Jesus in our marriage, and to share common ground which is so hard in these busy days. Yesterday I also realized that we do couples bible study for our kids. I hope every beautiful face pictured ( and the 3 or so babies that didn't make the photo) can grow up to be in a marriage that wants to grow spiritually. Lord, make it so!

This is one beautiful, fiesty, fast, determined, attached, smart, busy baby! The swing is one of the few ways we can keep her alive and away from the stairs, bad things that go in her mouth and other baby dangers when we take our eyes of her for 2 seconds. Long live the swing!

Claire is home from camp. Yeah!

Well its sunday morning again.  We had a fierce thunderstorm last night and the dog is nuts to go out this morning but I need my cup of coffee and a few minutes of peace and quiet before I unleash the day and leash the dog.  What is it about thunderstorms and dogs? 

I've had a few days of rest and physical and mental wellness...I feel better.  I went to the grocery store and bought gobs of fruit and other healthy foods, I walked, I did some quality stuff with the kids, I cleaned the house, I watched them mess it up again, I ate really good food and I slept.  Perfect weekend.  We have plans for  church, then my parents and step-sister and coming for brunch, then we are packing up the kids to go meet our couples bible study friends at a nearby lake for the day.  Hopefully the rain is done!  Hopefully we can return home this evening with a summer glow and not a sunburn, and make some new memories to add to the summer list. 

We are half way through summer now.  Its good.  Its been good with ball games, camps, lessons and now the lazy days have hit and that's good to.  In a few weeks we go on vacation and after that it will be a countdown of days until the first day of school begins.  Its all good.  When school starts again, we get to have a routine, normal (earlier) bedtimes, my food will last longer at home, and the kids will see their friends without scheduled playdates.  Its good.  For now, we are going to stay in the savory deep water of summer and not make our way to shore just yet.

Karate Kid

We travelled quite a distance to see Karate Kid because we missed it in the local theatre.  I was struck with a revelation as I sat in the dark theatre this afternoon.  The movie is about a 12 year old boy whose mom cannot solve his problems any more and he has to find his own way and find new people to help him.  I had one son on my left and one on  my right and we were snuggled in close to eachother.  They still let me wrap an arm around them in public but Isaac is definitely in the "no kiss" zone and Jeremiah is just a blink away from it.  So far, these little men in my life still feel connected to me and willing to include me in their problem solving.  I was awed that I am so close to the season when all 3 of my big kids will not want my help, will be independent and loosely attached to these fierce motherly bonds.  I got to savor it a bit, on a thursday, at the movies, playing hookie from work. 

Precious reconnected with her regular day care sitter for the day, Claire is still at camp, due home tomorrow.  I need to tidy up the nest...tomorrow.  I need to get groceries...tomorrow.  Today I am going to keep playing hookie from responsibility, let the baby sleep on my chest and the boys play hide and seek with neighbor kids and just sit in front of the fan and rest. 

Don't call me after 9pm.  I plan to be in bed.

Here's how I wish I felt right now, but instead.....

This is how I feel this morning...