Thank you to all you compassionate souls out there who listened to my pity party, who prayed for me, who reached out to me to remind me that I am loved, I am strong and I am ok. I feel much better. This morning Isaac, himself, said, "well mom, at least its just a broken arm and not my leg or my neck or something"...out of the mouth of babes for sure!
One year ago tonight Roger and I were landing in an airport in North Carolina, nervous, excited and carrying a brand new empty infant carseat. We didn't sleep much at all knowing that in the morning we were going to meet and receive our daughter from the adoption agency. Remembering it now makes me so emotional and it just moves me deep in my spirit. Last night I had pregnancy dreams...I think even my body is remembering the "labor pains" from a year ago when we were just on the verge of Precious.
Lord, you are good and your mercies endure forever. Thank you for your Divine Plan, your gracious hand of forgiveness and the good gifts you lavish over us. Let me be found faithful and willing and always trying to fix my eyes on you, Jesus! Amen.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
stress
Mild stress is productive. I know studies show that some stress in our lives is good for us. It engages our nervous system, sympathetic vs parasympathetic and all that...I'm pretty sure I've read that even surges of cortisol, the stress hormone, are helpful. But seriously. When is enough just about enough? Buying a new home is good stress but moving several trailers full of stuff, dumping several dumpsters of stuff, giving away many carloads of stuff...and then the old fridge that was left in the new house can't keep up with the workload of a family of 6-10, depending on who's around. And then the breaker flips off because 2 dryers can't run at the same time. And then the 8-year old falls while horsing around in the playroom and breaks his elbow. And then the 10-year old and her friend get locked in their bedroom from the inside and we have to jimmie it open with a toothpick, for cryin out loud. Mild stress is ok but when does it become toxic? I hate toxic. I wish to repel toxic stress. I pray that God would just magnetically engage me so that if toxic stress heads my way it will just slide away without touching me, like magnet to magnet. God is the author of science and he can shift matter. That is my prayer today, Lord. Shift the matter. Repel toxic stress from my countenance so that I don't see it or feel it or own it. Hows that for a new prayer under heaven? Lord, heal my Isaac. Heal him quickly and fully. He wants to play football and swim and walk the dog and carry his little sister and write and use his new school scissors. Please heal his elbow super-fast, God. Exactly how long do you think tears can catch in your throat before you either swallow them or they rise to crest on your eyes? I just wonder.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Here's Precious in her birthday PoppyDip dress. Thank you, Sallee! It arrived ON her birthday! When I figure out how, I'll put your button on my blog, until then, please check out the great designs of Poppydip.com! Sallee is a fellow blogger and adoptive mom and I found her on the Katelyn's Fund family blog website...hows that for networking! Precious wore this dress 4 of 5 days straight cause I just loved it so much so if it seems like many pictures have her wearing it, that's why!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Precious is sleeping so I get to sit a minute and type. My big kids are playing after school and shortly we will be off and running but for a moment I can catch up on my blogging buddies, etc. We are really settling into our new house and our new schedule but also are committed to the grueling work of purging/packing and cleaning out the old house. No action on a sale yet but that's ok since the house isn't ready to sell. Meanwhile, we're establishing school routines, getting back to practicing music lessons and engaging in football practice (yes, youth league starts in 3rd grade) and dance...
The season is changing. Can you feel it? I actually saw leaves fall from a tree today. The sun is still warm but the dawn and the dusk and the moonlit nights are crisp and cool and wonderfully refreshing. The season is changing. Have you seen it? There are endings and farewells and there are beginnings and greetings. The season is changing. Will you embrace it? Not far off we will enjoy football games on saturdays, bonfires in sweatshirts, crunchy leaves on the curb when we walk the dog or wait for the school bus, hot cider on cool afternoons, more baking and candle burning and games around the table. The season is changing.
The season is changing. Can you feel it? I actually saw leaves fall from a tree today. The sun is still warm but the dawn and the dusk and the moonlit nights are crisp and cool and wonderfully refreshing. The season is changing. Have you seen it? There are endings and farewells and there are beginnings and greetings. The season is changing. Will you embrace it? Not far off we will enjoy football games on saturdays, bonfires in sweatshirts, crunchy leaves on the curb when we walk the dog or wait for the school bus, hot cider on cool afternoons, more baking and candle burning and games around the table. The season is changing.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Tomorrow is the last day of summer for our school district. Our tradition is to do a trial run, to set alarm clocks and get up as if we are going to school, then to take off for the day for some fun. Last year, on the fun day, we got our call saying we had a baby girl...what a great memory that is. Now she is one year old, fiesty, busy and so established with us. The adoption stuff should be final really soon. Tomorrow we hope and plan to go to the zoo, out for lunch with dad and to an apple orchard if its open, then back home to bring school supplies to the classrooms for an open house event. Nice. I'm so ready for school. For structure, routine, etc.
We're climbing the mountain of our move, with much of our stuff here at the new place. I have some pictures out and some candles to burn so I can cope with the chaos until we are completely cleaned out at the old place. If you are forgetting to pray for our house to sell, please kick it up a notch. We haven't listed it yet, I'm just shamelessly plugging it everywhere to everyone. We'll list with realtors in a week or two when we have it looking nice.
OK, Precious just knocked her mouth on something and its late and she's tired...and I am too. Blessings!
We're climbing the mountain of our move, with much of our stuff here at the new place. I have some pictures out and some candles to burn so I can cope with the chaos until we are completely cleaned out at the old place. If you are forgetting to pray for our house to sell, please kick it up a notch. We haven't listed it yet, I'm just shamelessly plugging it everywhere to everyone. We'll list with realtors in a week or two when we have it looking nice.
OK, Precious just knocked her mouth on something and its late and she's tired...and I am too. Blessings!
Phil 4:6,7
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will gaurd your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
The mysterious hand of God led me here to this verse at 5am today. Thank you, mighty Lord, for knowing just what I need to hear and do. Thank you for answering my prayers, my cries for help. It's all tucked away in the Bible, if we only are willing to see it there. You didn't promise to fix everything, but you clearly instructed me to not worry about it. You are good, you are amazing and you are my hope and my deliverer. Thank you God for working out your Kingdom plans in my life and for reaching down to save me from my own hopelessness and despair. Its just not acceptable for you that I live in fear and worry and crabbiness. You demand that I choose joy. I sure can't get there without you, Lord. Only by your power can I get to joy when I am climbing this mountain of moving issues, finances, school starting, heavy workload at the office..busy family, a husband who needs my support and encouragement and most of all my smile and my joy. Thank you, Father God, for your guidance, your discipline and most of all, for your mercy. Bless this day unto you. Amen.
The mysterious hand of God led me here to this verse at 5am today. Thank you, mighty Lord, for knowing just what I need to hear and do. Thank you for answering my prayers, my cries for help. It's all tucked away in the Bible, if we only are willing to see it there. You didn't promise to fix everything, but you clearly instructed me to not worry about it. You are good, you are amazing and you are my hope and my deliverer. Thank you God for working out your Kingdom plans in my life and for reaching down to save me from my own hopelessness and despair. Its just not acceptable for you that I live in fear and worry and crabbiness. You demand that I choose joy. I sure can't get there without you, Lord. Only by your power can I get to joy when I am climbing this mountain of moving issues, finances, school starting, heavy workload at the office..busy family, a husband who needs my support and encouragement and most of all my smile and my joy. Thank you, Father God, for your guidance, your discipline and most of all, for your mercy. Bless this day unto you. Amen.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Precious Maryn is sucked up on me like crazy...I keep trying to lay her down and she just sucks right up here again. She's snoring gently on my chest. The house is quiet. Roger's parents left after the birthday party tonight to drive home and my parents left a bit later, once the dishes were done...family is invaluable in times like these. Family and friends. I'm more comfortable being the helper than the helped. We could not have done this much this soon without everyone who helped move, clean, sort, bake, paint, pound nails, buy us things...the list is endless. I love being part of a village, of a community of people who walk together through life to weather not just the storms but also the changes, the transitions, the additions and everything else. My heart is so full.
Precious got some new toys and clothes and a car seat and some money for more of all of that...we had pink and white cake and we swam in our pool and took lots of pictures. She is trying so hard to walk and she is adding more and more steps all the time. Today she ate lots of table foods and tried some whole milk but then made the tummy cramping sounds so maybe she has not outgrown the milk intolerance deal. We'll keep working at it.
I wanted to post about her name. I don't think I've ever done that so tonight, as a birthday gift to all those bloggers out there, from Precious and her mom, I will tell you why she is called Precious. When her birthmom discovered she was pregnant she saught an abortion. The clinic she went to, in the South, said she could not have one because she was too far along. Many abortion clinics will do partial birth abortions but this one said no. She was already practically into her third trimester. She left the clinic and heard God whisper in her ear, "This child is precious in my sight and I have great plans for her". It was then that birthmom began to call her Precious and felt like God had named her that. She delivered her prematurely about a month later and put Precious on the birth certificate. When she signed papers for adoption she asked if we would consider keeping this name in her name somewhere because she felt that the Lord had given it to her. We loved the whole story and we love that her birthmom thought so much of her and of God that she would name her Precious. Maryn was our name so we decided that Precious Maryn had a nice sound. So she is.
Each of us can claim a similar story. Every one of us is precious in His sight. We have all been rescued from death, if we believe in Jesus, and we all get to live and enjoy a full and abundant life in Christ, knowing that our home, our inheritance, our resolution, our future is with God. We can all say that this story is our story. Isn't that great? I just know the Lord would say it about me and about you if someone bent an ear to listen. This child is precious in my sight and I have great plans for her. Maybe Precious Maryn is just a messanger, a spotlight, a living example of what we all are. Wouldn't it be great to just crawl up on the Father's chest, after a busy birthday, and just insist on staying right there, heart to heart, breath to breath, scent to scent with the Author of Love?
Precious got some new toys and clothes and a car seat and some money for more of all of that...we had pink and white cake and we swam in our pool and took lots of pictures. She is trying so hard to walk and she is adding more and more steps all the time. Today she ate lots of table foods and tried some whole milk but then made the tummy cramping sounds so maybe she has not outgrown the milk intolerance deal. We'll keep working at it.
I wanted to post about her name. I don't think I've ever done that so tonight, as a birthday gift to all those bloggers out there, from Precious and her mom, I will tell you why she is called Precious. When her birthmom discovered she was pregnant she saught an abortion. The clinic she went to, in the South, said she could not have one because she was too far along. Many abortion clinics will do partial birth abortions but this one said no. She was already practically into her third trimester. She left the clinic and heard God whisper in her ear, "This child is precious in my sight and I have great plans for her". It was then that birthmom began to call her Precious and felt like God had named her that. She delivered her prematurely about a month later and put Precious on the birth certificate. When she signed papers for adoption she asked if we would consider keeping this name in her name somewhere because she felt that the Lord had given it to her. We loved the whole story and we love that her birthmom thought so much of her and of God that she would name her Precious. Maryn was our name so we decided that Precious Maryn had a nice sound. So she is.
Each of us can claim a similar story. Every one of us is precious in His sight. We have all been rescued from death, if we believe in Jesus, and we all get to live and enjoy a full and abundant life in Christ, knowing that our home, our inheritance, our resolution, our future is with God. We can all say that this story is our story. Isn't that great? I just know the Lord would say it about me and about you if someone bent an ear to listen. This child is precious in my sight and I have great plans for her. Maybe Precious Maryn is just a messanger, a spotlight, a living example of what we all are. Wouldn't it be great to just crawl up on the Father's chest, after a busy birthday, and just insist on staying right there, heart to heart, breath to breath, scent to scent with the Author of Love?
Moving post 4, I think
We are moved, mostly. It is a strange thing to see familiar people in unfamiliar places but also a wonderful thing! We have been moving all week and we still have much to do in the old place but for now, we are going to hit the pause button and just savor it all.
Today is Precious Maryn's birthday. She is one. We are just in awe of how the Lord brought her into the world, in a very humble and unassuming way, and led her on a path to us so that we could lavish her with love and attention and extravagance and celebration of her life. We love her so, so much! I'm thinking of her birth mom tonight and praying that she has peace and assurance and blessing. We are so grateful to her!
tomorrow is Sunday and we get to rest. Very good idea, Lord!
Today is Precious Maryn's birthday. She is one. We are just in awe of how the Lord brought her into the world, in a very humble and unassuming way, and led her on a path to us so that we could lavish her with love and attention and extravagance and celebration of her life. We love her so, so much! I'm thinking of her birth mom tonight and praying that she has peace and assurance and blessing. We are so grateful to her!
tomorrow is Sunday and we get to rest. Very good idea, Lord!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Well, my arms are gooey and tired from lifting boxes and my back hurts...but we have started to move in! Yeah! When I'm at the old house I am disheveled, uptight, overwhelmed and see this mountain ahead of me that I have to climb or blast through or travel around....and when I drive the 6 or 8 blocks to the new house I feel excited, relaxed, hopeful and so full of gratitude and joy. What a difference 6 blocks makes in my attitude! Things are not perfect over there, but there is this delicious promise of new beginnings and a new season for my family....its the pleasure of hope.
That seems to be about right for the pendulum I swing on spiritually as well. I go from fighting in the trenches of spiritual warfare to dancing on the hillside like David danced, to taking thoughts captive from fear and doubt and shame to declaring the glory of the Lord and the power of Jesus' name...crazy how one mind can hold it all. To scale, it must be about 6 blocks between the pleasure of the hope I have in Jesus, to the despair of trying to live in the world but not of it.
There's a really big trailer parked in my driveway, sitting empty. Every room in the house has stuff that needs to move. Better go get a box of Wheaties for breakfast!
That seems to be about right for the pendulum I swing on spiritually as well. I go from fighting in the trenches of spiritual warfare to dancing on the hillside like David danced, to taking thoughts captive from fear and doubt and shame to declaring the glory of the Lord and the power of Jesus' name...crazy how one mind can hold it all. To scale, it must be about 6 blocks between the pleasure of the hope I have in Jesus, to the despair of trying to live in the world but not of it.
There's a really big trailer parked in my driveway, sitting empty. Every room in the house has stuff that needs to move. Better go get a box of Wheaties for breakfast!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
moving post 3
Its the big week. We're moving. Please pray for us, that our old home sells and that we transition well. I'm really nervous to move without selling our other home. Our sermon today was on faith and walking in Faith, not just endorsing it in theory. Sigh. God will provide. We are not stepping out of His will. We are not extended beyond our means. We seized an opportunity that made sense and we are being good stewards....anyway, big changes are in store!
I don't have boxes packed and labeled and taped. I don't have a meticulous plan for what goes when. What I do have is a loose arrangement for childcare, a flexible job and a husband who rolls with the punches. I hope to wake up early, go for my regular walk with my buddies and my dog and then start to pack and load and deliver boxes to the new place, and just keep doing that until everything we want moved is moved and the rest will get sorted and eliminated. Then we will list the house.
Our yard sale was a marginal success and we celebrated by spending exactly half of the profit on a steak dinner out for the family. We don't typically take our entire family out for dinner like that but it felt like an extravagant evening so we did appetizers, steaks, salads, the works...and then got the bill and realized why we usually order pizza with coupons. Today after church we adjusted our Sabboth day of rest, meaning we tabled it, and went shopping. We got supplies for Claire's new room which is the only one we need to do before we move in. We also got the kids new undies and socks and pjs and shoes for school and Precious got her birthday gifts for next week. My mom graciously invited us to dinner since we had relatives in from out of state and we had great food and fellowship to end the weekend.
The weather in the midwest is glorious this weekend. We have a break from the insufferable heat and humidity and rain and bugs and for more than 24 hours we have been simply blessed. It is beautiful outside....thank you Lord!
Thanks in advance for prayers regarding our move and our house sale. Its a big deal 'cause houses in our community are not moving and we are defying the momentum to even list ours. Ours just has to sell. Please, Lord, make it so!
More to come!....
I don't have boxes packed and labeled and taped. I don't have a meticulous plan for what goes when. What I do have is a loose arrangement for childcare, a flexible job and a husband who rolls with the punches. I hope to wake up early, go for my regular walk with my buddies and my dog and then start to pack and load and deliver boxes to the new place, and just keep doing that until everything we want moved is moved and the rest will get sorted and eliminated. Then we will list the house.
Our yard sale was a marginal success and we celebrated by spending exactly half of the profit on a steak dinner out for the family. We don't typically take our entire family out for dinner like that but it felt like an extravagant evening so we did appetizers, steaks, salads, the works...and then got the bill and realized why we usually order pizza with coupons. Today after church we adjusted our Sabboth day of rest, meaning we tabled it, and went shopping. We got supplies for Claire's new room which is the only one we need to do before we move in. We also got the kids new undies and socks and pjs and shoes for school and Precious got her birthday gifts for next week. My mom graciously invited us to dinner since we had relatives in from out of state and we had great food and fellowship to end the weekend.
The weather in the midwest is glorious this weekend. We have a break from the insufferable heat and humidity and rain and bugs and for more than 24 hours we have been simply blessed. It is beautiful outside....thank you Lord!
Thanks in advance for prayers regarding our move and our house sale. Its a big deal 'cause houses in our community are not moving and we are defying the momentum to even list ours. Ours just has to sell. Please, Lord, make it so!
More to come!....
Friday, August 13, 2010
Is there a pill or something I can take for crabby? I take a pill when I have a headache, or if I am getting sick but it seems like when I'm getting crabby there is nothing I can take. I want my nest to be clean and settled and orderly. Since its not, I'm crabby. I don't want to be crabby. Ugh.
Positives....list the positives. Hmm. Hmm. (that's clear the throat talk):
1. My children are gorgeous and wonderful. They are having a blast hosting a yard sale this weekend and trying to purge stuff before we move!
2. My husband is patient and kind. He hasn't snapped back at me. Not once.
3. My work week is done until tuesday or so. My employers are understanding and generous with me.
4. My God is amazing and faithful and trustworthy and very, very forgiving.
5. My friends are very willing to help me with the move, the transition and anything else I complain about. I've got great friends.
6. School starts in about 10 days. I'm ready for structure and routine. My kids are ready to see their friends everyday!
7. I have a full belly, a full fridge and a full heart.
8. The heat wave is predicted to lift for a week or so and I am eager for less intense weather.
9. I can resist the urge to finish with a perfect 10 list and just end here before I get nauseating or ineffective. I'm not a type A and am grateful I am not!
Positives....list the positives. Hmm. Hmm. (that's clear the throat talk):
1. My children are gorgeous and wonderful. They are having a blast hosting a yard sale this weekend and trying to purge stuff before we move!
2. My husband is patient and kind. He hasn't snapped back at me. Not once.
3. My work week is done until tuesday or so. My employers are understanding and generous with me.
4. My God is amazing and faithful and trustworthy and very, very forgiving.
5. My friends are very willing to help me with the move, the transition and anything else I complain about. I've got great friends.
6. School starts in about 10 days. I'm ready for structure and routine. My kids are ready to see their friends everyday!
7. I have a full belly, a full fridge and a full heart.
8. The heat wave is predicted to lift for a week or so and I am eager for less intense weather.
9. I can resist the urge to finish with a perfect 10 list and just end here before I get nauseating or ineffective. I'm not a type A and am grateful I am not!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
ssshhhhhh....I have a new quiet little secret ministry. We don't want to make a big deal of it because I'm sure that dirty ole devil won't like it, but oh well, we're doing it anyway. God is smiling and I am bracing myself for serious spiritual kickback. I'm praying. (Gasp!) with a few little girls, ages 10-11, and we are talking about how hard it can be to focus and really talk to the Lord and press in to a deep and meaningful relationship with him. Don't tell anyone. It's not practical or measurable. It's not gonna help me get my laundry done. 3 or 4 young pre-teen girls, my daughter included, will hopefull, with God's help, have a few prayer tools in their arsenal that most adults I know don't care about. Lets keep a lid on this thing. I'd hate for it to blow wide open. Wouldn't you?
Tonight I showed them how to read a verse from the bible, say a prayer over it and know that the bible is the Word of God and its ok to pray it back to Him. Try it. Try it with Psalm 139. Read a verse or two and pray it back to the Father, the Author, the Creator. Then wait.
The "Footprints" meditation hangs on the wall in our church prayer closet. I had them close their eyes and listen as I read it. Can you imagine? What would it have been like for me to hear that in the hard times, God carried me....when I was 10? I'm sure these children have no idea what it all means, but deep inside God has carved out a place of Truth for them and these are good, good prayer tools.
After we prayed, we went out and helped with a community meal, a first for us. It was awesome. Then I went to a prayer service that focused on adoption and I cried out to God to raise up more adoptive families....what a good Kingdom day!
Tonight I showed them how to read a verse from the bible, say a prayer over it and know that the bible is the Word of God and its ok to pray it back to Him. Try it. Try it with Psalm 139. Read a verse or two and pray it back to the Father, the Author, the Creator. Then wait.
The "Footprints" meditation hangs on the wall in our church prayer closet. I had them close their eyes and listen as I read it. Can you imagine? What would it have been like for me to hear that in the hard times, God carried me....when I was 10? I'm sure these children have no idea what it all means, but deep inside God has carved out a place of Truth for them and these are good, good prayer tools.
After we prayed, we went out and helped with a community meal, a first for us. It was awesome. Then I went to a prayer service that focused on adoption and I cried out to God to raise up more adoptive families....what a good Kingdom day!
moving post 2
Yesterday we signed papers for the purchase of our new home. When we got home we both agreed that it would have been more exciting if our current home was already sold, but as the hours passed, I became more and more excited. Now it's real. It's not just talk. We are praying and believing that God will help us work it all out and that a buyer will be out there for this lovely, old, classy home.
Roger was able to work things out at his job and he does not need to travel next week, as we had previously expected, which means we can start moving in. Yeah! I really wanted to be in the new place so we could have a birthday party for Precious and show our friends and family the new digs. Thank you, Roger and thank you Lord!
On my morning walk today we were talking about stuff and money and the haves and have nots. I feel even more strongly now than ever, that all the resources available to us, our money, our property, our stuff, is God's anyway. I've said it before and will say it again. It's all His. He can move it around any way He wants to and He gives and takes away and I will choose to say "yes" to His will, no matter what. I know He is much more interested in my attitude, my philosophy, my use of my time, my willingness to press in to His love and His heart. I know that God wants my attention way more than my stuff. This move is going to challenge that knowledge but I believe I will not forget this truth if I remind myself of it now and again.
I pray a blessing on the day, this Thursday. Lord God of Heaven and Earth, bless this day unto yourself. This is your day, not mine. Help me to use the time I have today wisely and for your glory. Help me to be filled with the fruit of your Spirit and useful to those around me. Its just a Thursday. But its yours. Amen.
Roger was able to work things out at his job and he does not need to travel next week, as we had previously expected, which means we can start moving in. Yeah! I really wanted to be in the new place so we could have a birthday party for Precious and show our friends and family the new digs. Thank you, Roger and thank you Lord!
On my morning walk today we were talking about stuff and money and the haves and have nots. I feel even more strongly now than ever, that all the resources available to us, our money, our property, our stuff, is God's anyway. I've said it before and will say it again. It's all His. He can move it around any way He wants to and He gives and takes away and I will choose to say "yes" to His will, no matter what. I know He is much more interested in my attitude, my philosophy, my use of my time, my willingness to press in to His love and His heart. I know that God wants my attention way more than my stuff. This move is going to challenge that knowledge but I believe I will not forget this truth if I remind myself of it now and again.
I pray a blessing on the day, this Thursday. Lord God of Heaven and Earth, bless this day unto yourself. This is your day, not mine. Help me to use the time I have today wisely and for your glory. Help me to be filled with the fruit of your Spirit and useful to those around me. Its just a Thursday. But its yours. Amen.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
moving posts
The list of moving burdens is long and obvious. Tonight I want to feature a moving blessing or two. We are slowly learning how to tackle a shelf or a drawer or a pile and sort through it, learning where to take the things we don't want or, in my case, how to dodge the packrats in my home and dump things they think they cannot live without and yet, never use. Oops. Did I write that out loud? (smile)
Last night Roger dug up our generous collection of music cds from the bowels of the basement. This morning we went through them and picked out the saves and he took the rest to a second hand store that gave him over $100.00 for them. Yeah! One of the cds I kept back has the song "Rescue" on it and I put it in my car stereo this morning on the way to work. The mind and the soul are sacred and amazing parts of the human body. I had not listened to this cd for almost 20 years and yet, I remembered the words and could sing out and worship on my short commute to the office. My soul lined up with the Father's as I listened to the words and I just was leveled by gratitude and humility. 20 years ago I was recovering from a season of rebellion, broken and confused and had made a mess of my life. I had walked a wayward path from Him and was just starting to heal and rebuild my heart and my soul and my life and the scripture that was bathed in this beautiful acapella music was like healing balm to my soul. I learned the songs first and then as I began to really dig into my bible, I realized that they were singing scripture. It was a really big "ah ha" moment for me when I learned I could sing and worship with the Holy Word of God. In my short 15 minute drive to work I sang and remembered the hard places I have come from and was just amazed by where I am today and I was thanking and praising God for his work in me. In big and small ways, He comes to my rescue. In the decades of life changes and in the daily life changes, in the moments when the Spirit convicts me of wrong and straightens me out....glimpses of holiness all under the act of rescue. Jesus, son of God, you are the Savior and you come to my rescue. Thank you for saving me and for rescuing me from my self, from the world, from being lost and broken. Thank you for this move that unearthed this cd that gave me cause to remember a really big answer to prayer a long time ago. Thank you.
Last night Roger dug up our generous collection of music cds from the bowels of the basement. This morning we went through them and picked out the saves and he took the rest to a second hand store that gave him over $100.00 for them. Yeah! One of the cds I kept back has the song "Rescue" on it and I put it in my car stereo this morning on the way to work. The mind and the soul are sacred and amazing parts of the human body. I had not listened to this cd for almost 20 years and yet, I remembered the words and could sing out and worship on my short commute to the office. My soul lined up with the Father's as I listened to the words and I just was leveled by gratitude and humility. 20 years ago I was recovering from a season of rebellion, broken and confused and had made a mess of my life. I had walked a wayward path from Him and was just starting to heal and rebuild my heart and my soul and my life and the scripture that was bathed in this beautiful acapella music was like healing balm to my soul. I learned the songs first and then as I began to really dig into my bible, I realized that they were singing scripture. It was a really big "ah ha" moment for me when I learned I could sing and worship with the Holy Word of God. In my short 15 minute drive to work I sang and remembered the hard places I have come from and was just amazed by where I am today and I was thanking and praising God for his work in me. In big and small ways, He comes to my rescue. In the decades of life changes and in the daily life changes, in the moments when the Spirit convicts me of wrong and straightens me out....glimpses of holiness all under the act of rescue. Jesus, son of God, you are the Savior and you come to my rescue. Thank you for saving me and for rescuing me from my self, from the world, from being lost and broken. Thank you for this move that unearthed this cd that gave me cause to remember a really big answer to prayer a long time ago. Thank you.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sometimes there are days that are more than merely surviving and getting through to the next thing. Today was one of those days. We are slowly on the mend from our stomach ick and desperate to enjoy the pool we have access to, even before we move in. I got to worship in my home church today for the first time in several weeks. Last week we were at the lake on vacation, the week before I was in the nursery...so it felt fresh today. Our pastor preached on the importance and significance of communion. It was biblical teaching and it was sound and convicting and powerful. I felt God and knew he was wanting more from me and it felt good to yield. Again. As I sang and worshipped, I saw glimpses of who and what He may want me to be and it was so good to know that I love the God who believes in me and hopes for my future and offers me better and better all the time. All that is required of me is honesty, repentence and a willingness to line myself up with Him, and He truly does the rest. Good, good stuff.
I feel very blessed and grateful for my life, my family, my future. Around me I see chaos, pain, disorder and disease and yet, God has given me a fresh lens to see His beauty all around me. It is a gift and a lifeline, to survive this season of change. I have had a good day in the Kingdom today. I will probably have a rough day tomorrow so I need to declare that this Sabboth day was a good day. Thanks, Lord.
Its off to work tomorrow and trying to prioritize the move. We just have way too much stuff. Its really a cryin' shame. We can live without all this stuff! We've had many offers to help us with the move and the sale of our home and I am so thankful to live in a community of family and friends. We're excited to start a new chapter of our family life in a new place, with some fresh resolutions, a clean chore chart and schedule and much, much hope.
Precious Maryn is bound and determined to stand independently. She's trying to walk as well but just today she really started to "train" for the standing thing. She also dances. Very humble and unassuming, but she dances, with a twinkle in her eye. She is such an amazing and wonderful child. She is transforming right in front of us and every day brings new things. What a joy she brings to us! Pray for her dear ole' dad because there is a chance that if he takes her to bed each night, she will begin to not need so much nighttime parenting and eventually sleep alone at night. (That chance does not exist with mom). He's up for the challenge and I am so very glad!
I feel very blessed and grateful for my life, my family, my future. Around me I see chaos, pain, disorder and disease and yet, God has given me a fresh lens to see His beauty all around me. It is a gift and a lifeline, to survive this season of change. I have had a good day in the Kingdom today. I will probably have a rough day tomorrow so I need to declare that this Sabboth day was a good day. Thanks, Lord.
Its off to work tomorrow and trying to prioritize the move. We just have way too much stuff. Its really a cryin' shame. We can live without all this stuff! We've had many offers to help us with the move and the sale of our home and I am so thankful to live in a community of family and friends. We're excited to start a new chapter of our family life in a new place, with some fresh resolutions, a clean chore chart and schedule and much, much hope.
Precious Maryn is bound and determined to stand independently. She's trying to walk as well but just today she really started to "train" for the standing thing. She also dances. Very humble and unassuming, but she dances, with a twinkle in her eye. She is such an amazing and wonderful child. She is transforming right in front of us and every day brings new things. What a joy she brings to us! Pray for her dear ole' dad because there is a chance that if he takes her to bed each night, she will begin to not need so much nighttime parenting and eventually sleep alone at night. (That chance does not exist with mom). He's up for the challenge and I am so very glad!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Well, our vacation is officially done. Yesterday I took my turn with the stomach flu, just to finish out with a bang. Good grief. Roger and the kids stepped up and handled things and now, almost 24 hours later, I'm coming out if it. I think its been over 6 months since any of us have been sick, other than Precious' respiratory stuff this spring, and now we've all gotten socked with it except Claire and Precious. Praying it leaves us now! Yuck.
In 2 weeks Precious Maryn will be one year old. We are so excited to celebrate her birthday and we may be able to do so in our new house, by the pool. This kid loves the water so much! We could actually be moved out in 2 weeks but would then still have to come back and forth to clean this house out to sell it. I vascillate between being excited, overwhelmed, regrettful and sad, then excited again. This is a great house but needs constant attention and upkeep and we have decided we'd rather spend that time and money enjoying our family.
School starts in just over 2 weeks, so we are down to the end of summer now. I'm hoping to work less and spend more time with the kids as we all make these big life changes. There are a few things we have been waiting to do, like go to the zoo, etc. Oh, and pack and move. Oh, and finish the finalization for P's adoption, oh and do a birthday party...oh....and smile....oh, and pray.....oh and sing.
In 2 weeks Precious Maryn will be one year old. We are so excited to celebrate her birthday and we may be able to do so in our new house, by the pool. This kid loves the water so much! We could actually be moved out in 2 weeks but would then still have to come back and forth to clean this house out to sell it. I vascillate between being excited, overwhelmed, regrettful and sad, then excited again. This is a great house but needs constant attention and upkeep and we have decided we'd rather spend that time and money enjoying our family.
School starts in just over 2 weeks, so we are down to the end of summer now. I'm hoping to work less and spend more time with the kids as we all make these big life changes. There are a few things we have been waiting to do, like go to the zoo, etc. Oh, and pack and move. Oh, and finish the finalization for P's adoption, oh and do a birthday party...oh....and smile....oh, and pray.....oh and sing.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
we're home...or are we?
last night my dear stepmom got the stomach flu during the night so when we woke up to our second to last day of vacation, we quickly changed plans and packed up to head home. Praying you recover quickly, Mary!
A very strange and unexpected thing happened during vacation. As some may recall, I have had a sense or premonition or hint from God for some time now that I should get ready for something. I wasn't sure what it was but for several months now I feel like I have been waiting while God was moving or setting things up or something. In that way that only God can make happen, which is usually in the quiet whisper or when I have my gaurd down (i.e. on vacation), He has shaken things up a bit. We are moving. Seriously. Just to a different house in the same town (all you locals can stop freaking out now), and when you call me or email and ask it will not be too suprising....its a newer home (that's a relative term since our current home is 90 years old!) with a great backyard and a pool, in fact, the pool I spent my teenage years in and the very one my 3 big kids learned to swim in. It's been for sale for awhile now and we just happened to be swimming there 2 weeks ago and started talking with the owners, who are family friends. We came to an agreement that we could live with and they will let us move in while there are still a few weeks of swimming weather, and we can get our house ready to sell without the 6 of us in it. Please pray a very shallow and materialistic prayer that this old house sells quickly. I love her so much and will miss her like crazy and I want her to have a good family and financially, we just need it to go fast. You can also pray for world peace, an end to global hunger and human trafficing, etc. Just add this little prayer to the end if you remember.
When we left for vacation last friday night, we had water coming in the basement and we left dad home to deal with it. There were toys and 14 married years of stuff everywhere that we had emptied out of the 2 wet rooms...and it was chaos. I chose to leave it that way to get the rest of us out of it and to the lakes...then at about 2am, the puking started and we had several days of sick boys and lack of sleep...then things got better and dad came (he also had the flu that same night) and it felt like vacation for a few days. Now that we are home, the reality of the mess, the stinky wet basement, the unpacking from a week of lake/beach/junk food fun, and a move just a few weeks away....so what is the point, God? Is the point to bless us with a new home that will serve our family well for the next 20 years or so? Is the point to see how I handle the pressure? Is the point to lay my beloved old house on the alter and give it to you, as just one more material thing that does not deserve more attention that it is worth? Is the point to shift the focus from building our home and repairing it constantly, to just enjoying one that doesn't need constant improvement?
We have ALOT of work ahead of us and I need some serious focus and rest and a supernatural gifting of organizational skills. The new house is not bigger. We have much purging, necessary purging to do. I know God has an amazing plan for us and I have seen bits and pieces of the wisdom and revelation of this radical, crazy shift in our foundation. I know He cares more about How I live than Where I live. I know He is testing my character and perseverence and that he means to strengthen me but also to bless me and to help me. It's good to live in His will. It's good to trust in His plans. It's good to sing to the King, so Lord, let my thoughts and fears and failures and prayers be songs to you. Amen.
A very strange and unexpected thing happened during vacation. As some may recall, I have had a sense or premonition or hint from God for some time now that I should get ready for something. I wasn't sure what it was but for several months now I feel like I have been waiting while God was moving or setting things up or something. In that way that only God can make happen, which is usually in the quiet whisper or when I have my gaurd down (i.e. on vacation), He has shaken things up a bit. We are moving. Seriously. Just to a different house in the same town (all you locals can stop freaking out now), and when you call me or email and ask it will not be too suprising....its a newer home (that's a relative term since our current home is 90 years old!) with a great backyard and a pool, in fact, the pool I spent my teenage years in and the very one my 3 big kids learned to swim in. It's been for sale for awhile now and we just happened to be swimming there 2 weeks ago and started talking with the owners, who are family friends. We came to an agreement that we could live with and they will let us move in while there are still a few weeks of swimming weather, and we can get our house ready to sell without the 6 of us in it. Please pray a very shallow and materialistic prayer that this old house sells quickly. I love her so much and will miss her like crazy and I want her to have a good family and financially, we just need it to go fast. You can also pray for world peace, an end to global hunger and human trafficing, etc. Just add this little prayer to the end if you remember.
When we left for vacation last friday night, we had water coming in the basement and we left dad home to deal with it. There were toys and 14 married years of stuff everywhere that we had emptied out of the 2 wet rooms...and it was chaos. I chose to leave it that way to get the rest of us out of it and to the lakes...then at about 2am, the puking started and we had several days of sick boys and lack of sleep...then things got better and dad came (he also had the flu that same night) and it felt like vacation for a few days. Now that we are home, the reality of the mess, the stinky wet basement, the unpacking from a week of lake/beach/junk food fun, and a move just a few weeks away....so what is the point, God? Is the point to bless us with a new home that will serve our family well for the next 20 years or so? Is the point to see how I handle the pressure? Is the point to lay my beloved old house on the alter and give it to you, as just one more material thing that does not deserve more attention that it is worth? Is the point to shift the focus from building our home and repairing it constantly, to just enjoying one that doesn't need constant improvement?
We have ALOT of work ahead of us and I need some serious focus and rest and a supernatural gifting of organizational skills. The new house is not bigger. We have much purging, necessary purging to do. I know God has an amazing plan for us and I have seen bits and pieces of the wisdom and revelation of this radical, crazy shift in our foundation. I know He cares more about How I live than Where I live. I know He is testing my character and perseverence and that he means to strengthen me but also to bless me and to help me. It's good to live in His will. It's good to trust in His plans. It's good to sing to the King, so Lord, let my thoughts and fears and failures and prayers be songs to you. Amen.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
vacation
I'm about 5 days into my 10 day vacation. It wasn't intended to be that long but due to unforseen circumstances, including a flooded basement and kids throwing up for 24 hours...my vacation got moved back. So we're half way through now. I've hit a wall. I am watching Precious bang around on the remote, the phone, everything she can get her hands on. Roger and dad and my brother are out tending to dinner, I am ignoring the swimsuits and towels and such that I tend to daily...and I am sitting waaayyyyyyy long with my glass of wine and the computer. We've been out in the sun today, finally, without rain, and I am sunburned, pleasantly, and tired, pleasantly and relaxed, pleasantly. Vacation is divine.
My parents have been very gracious hosts even though we are stressing their fridge, their freezer, their WASHER AND DRYER...and they are still smiling! This is more action than their year-round lake home has ever had! My mom is vacuuming out our basement every few hours back home. Thank goodness for family!
Well, the sweet corn is boiled and the burgers are grilled, better close up the post and get to dinner. I'll post pictures when I can!
My parents have been very gracious hosts even though we are stressing their fridge, their freezer, their WASHER AND DRYER...and they are still smiling! This is more action than their year-round lake home has ever had! My mom is vacuuming out our basement every few hours back home. Thank goodness for family!
Well, the sweet corn is boiled and the burgers are grilled, better close up the post and get to dinner. I'll post pictures when I can!
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