hint

please scroll down and hit the "pause" button on the ipod on the right.  Then you can click the "play" button on the Josh Wilson video.  Sorry.  technology is not my friend but artistic expression is.  Please be patient with me.  Seriously.  Pause the ipod, hit play on the you tube video....and worship.  Please.

the beauty of India

Behind the Beauty, Josh Wilson *lyrics!*

This is currently one of my favorite artists....and how can you not love this song.

He's a very silly goose. He's at that akward place, just 9 years old and doesn't want to smile nice or look as tender and sweet as he is. He is my dear, sweet boy. My heart is hurting for him today because, well, ....he is at camp. I know it is silly. He's a pain in the neck. He makes his sisters and brother crazy. He is wild, impulsive, reckless and rude. Man, do I miss him. I took him to bible camp yesterday. I prayed that he wouldn't be scared or sad his first night there. I prayed for him this morning, that he would be safe, well and happy. I prayed that the angels would protect his bones, which he tends to break. Today I picked Precious up from daycare and we came home to a quiet house. Claire is at dance practice, Jeremiah is with a friend. Precious yelled, "Isaac!". He's not here. It's crazy that in a family with 4 crazy, loud children, the absence of just one is palpable. Boy, do I miss this boy. Lord, keep him safe. Show him more of You, oh God. Reveal truth and love and purpose in his young life. He knows you, God, so begin to speak to him, even today, on day 2 of his week-long bible camp. He was yours before he was mine, God. Keep him close for me, please. Can't wait for friday when I can bring him back to the nest. My arms are aching already!

unpacking

This weekend we began "unpacking" our trip with thoughts, words, ideas, inspiration.  We shared the highlights with the local paper, which was unexpected.  We are hoping that the clothing drive we called for will net some donations from our community and some excitement to partner with the Christian Church of India.  We shared with our church tonight.  It still feels like unpacking.  We are taking out the pictures, the thoughts, the feelings, the lessons and we are moving them around, finding places in our homes and hearts that fit.  You go on a trip and you get stuff.  You pack that new stuff to take home and once home, you have to take it out of the luggage and figure out where it fits in your home, your life.  That's what India is like for me right now.  I'm still unpacking it.  I need to figure out how it fits into my life. 

I learned so many big and small things in the 2 weeeks I was away.  I learned about myself, my family, my church and my friends.  I learned about other culture and how we are more similar than different, under Jesus name.  Mostly, I learned about God.  I learned things about God that I don't even know how to describe yet.  I learned that God is so excited to spend time with me, with each of us, that He sets up amazing divine appointments, just to gift us, if we just say "yes" and go where He sends us.  I learned that He spoils me rotten when I am obedient.  I learned that He is patient and gracious when I am not.  God really, really loves me.  He really, really loves you, too.  You don't have to go to India, or Haiti, or Uganda, or the Indian Reservation to experience it....but you can if you want to.  You really can.  You should.  We all should.  God is working in the world.  God is doing miracles, signs and wonders everywhere.  He wants to share His Might and His Glory and His Love with us.  He is a good, good father and He is so proud of what He can do.  It is really worth it to say "yes".  Here's something else I learned about God while He and I were in India.  God really, and I mean REALLY loves orphans.  I'm serious.  I felt His presence and His love and His power more in the presence of His precious babies than anywhere else in my life, ever.  He really loves orphans.  Doesn't that make you want to be where He is, loving what He loves?  It does me.  Ask Him what you can do for the orphans.  Let Him decide how you can help Him love them.  Holy Ground.  I'm telling ya.  It's Holy Ground.

Saturdays

Last saturday I was travelling across India.  We travelled through the afternoon and evening to return to they city of Hyderabad, from Ongole where we had been with the SCH family.  On the way to Hyderbad (home of the school of worship and the airport that would take us home), we were stopped on a road.  It seemed to be a traffic jam of sorts, out in the country, between villages.  Cars and rickshaws and motorcycles and busses were stopped as far as we could see ahead of us, and soon behind us as well.  We didn't dare leave the car because, as foreigners, we attracted much attention, even in the car.  And then there were the wild monkeys....and the lizzards....and the cattle and pigs that roam freely.  So, yeah, we stayed in the car.  We waited and waited and waited.  We used our imaginations to create stories of what was causing our delay.  No one seemed to know.  No one was crabby or hostile or impatient (except maybe us foreigners).  Indians are like that.  No problem.  Take it as it comes.  Why get worked up about it?  Won't change the circumstances.  Look at the bright side.  Count it a blessing...seriously, this is the philosophy in the India we experienced.  It was very refreshing and inspiring!  After 20 or 30 minutes, traffic resumed.  We asked our driver what was up.  (He had been out chatting and walking and exploring.)  Apparently, it was a good night for a village blessing.  The entire village had come out, onto the road, for a bonfire, a sacrifice of some kind.  It was a ceremony to bless the village.  Huh.  Really.  On a saturday night, in the middle of traffic.  Yep.  Pretty much.  Well ok then!  So on we went.

Today it is Saturday.  I've been swimming in my pool with my kids.  I'm doing laundry and mowing the lawn.  I made a fresh salad for lunch with spinach and strawberries and turkey....for the love of YUM!.  Tonight I get to go out with my husband to a nice dinner for my 25-year class reunion.  Should be lovely.  What a lovely saturday.

Next Saturday we will be in Chicago.  Claire starts her dancer-of-the-year junior semi-finals experience in Chicago.  We will do dance extravaganza for 10 days, and wrap our family vacation around it.  I'm sure it will be fun and stressful and expensive and filled with memory-making.  I will take lots of photos so we only remember the good parts (that's the key to a good family vacation, ya know.  Take lots of pictures of the good parts and not of the bickering.  :))

How can 3 consecutive saturdays be so completely unique in the same woman's life?  Its just crazy.  Who said being a forty-something homemaker in the midwest is boring? 

Hello everyone. Meet Jody. This is a first for both of us. Neither of us have ever swam at the beach of the Bay of Bengal. Jody is 3 or 4, she is soft and sweet and her cheeks feel like marshmallows. Her eyes are dark and deep and searching. She is snuggly. She is so lovely. She doesn't have a mama or a daddy....yet. Jody and I had a blast experiencing the late afternoon waves on the beach. I'm pretty sure she and I will be friends forever.

These girls graduated from the school of worship today in India. (I think there are 2 missing in this picture that we took just before we left India.) They were here for 5 weeks and learned to play keyboard, sing original praise and worship songs in their native language of Telugu, study and share the Word and more. They did intercessory prayer, meditative and devotional study, worship leading and even teaching eachother. They range in age from 14-26. Only 2 are married yet. Their future as Christian women in India is in God's hands. They were equipped by some amazing teachers and a couple of Iowa mommies. I look forward to fellowship in Heaven with these Sisters some day. We will dance and sing and hug and laugh together on that day!

jet lag

Good-bye jet lag.  I'm happy to see you go.  You have messed with me long enough. I don't want to be tired when I am busy in my day or wide awake when I should be sleeping.  I don't want to have that sick feeling in my stomach or tightness in my head that signals my body is all out of whack.  I'm too old for this business.  You can go now, jet lag.  Thanks for your "help" with my travels!

Fresh fruit!  We were careful about what we ate in India.  We drank only bottled water and avoided fresh fruit and vegetables that could have been washed in tap water.  We didn't get sick in India.  We felt protected and prepared by the information we read and learned before we went, and by our very attentive companions in India who assured us when foods were safe.  Yesterday I finally made it to the grocery store.  Here's what I got:  blueberries, cantelope, watermelon, strawberries, apples, grapes, peaches, aspagarus and lettuce.  Fresh.  Fresh.  Fresh.  Oh, and more bottled water.  (smiles)

I love the USA.  I love our wide open spaces in the midwest.  I love tap water and bath water and lake water and pool water and bottled water and even the water in the streets that we can splash in.  I love garbage cans and garbage service and recycle bins everywhere.  I love public restrooms with toilets that are not confusing.  I love having the freedom and ability to own and drive my own car wherever and whenever I need to.  I love turning on a light or fan and having it stay on until I turn it off without losing power several times a day.  I love that we have good schools right in our own town and don't have to send our children off to get a good education.  I love the USA.

It's good to be home.  I would willingly travel again and hope that God grants me favor to return to India sometime.  I love having home to come home to.   Thanks to all of you who have welcomed me home with phone calls, smiles, hugs, notes and more.  You have blessed me!

aching

She walks into a government orphanage a few times a year.  She looks around the gray, bleak, hopeless space at the little children.  Her heart breaks over and over and over as she sees these forgotten ones, these abandoned and rejected ones.  She prays.  "Which ones, Lord....which ones do you want me to take?"  and the list grows.  Sometimes names "mysteriously" appear on the list.  Other times she begs God to add names to the list.  She doesn't have the room or the finances or the plan for more and more kids.  Still.  The names appear on her list.  The list grows.  She makes the plan with her amazing staff.  She takes them out of the government orphanage and into a place of hope, and love and promise and joy.  Her name is Sarah.  She is my friend. 

I am in awe of what she is doing in India.  I am overwhelmed by the need and the hope and the message of Jesus that is played out day after day in her life.  I am praying for Sarah and for her Covenant Homes.  Please pray for her, too.  19 more kids are coming any day.  Pray and if God nudges you, join in and help her.

I'm Back!

Sorry for the lack of blogging while in India.  Every day was filled with so much living and experiencing and processing.  The time there was so precious and full, and I didn't want to use it by reflecting and writing.  Most days I wasn't exactly sure what I was thinking or feeling.  It could have been dangerous to write it all out as it was happening!  Now, I'm home.  I can look at the photos and read through my bible notes and pray and ask God what I should share, what is "public" vs. "private." 

It is possible you may get sick of hearing about India long before I am sick of talking about it.  India is an amazing, beautiful, rich and complex country.  The Indian people are equally so.  We definitely learned more than we taught and were given way more than we gave.  God is very busy working in India.  The face of that country could change in one generation, from idol worship to Jesus Christ.  There are many names for Jesus in the local language we heard the most, which is Telugu.  (Just like here, there are many names for Jesus.)  Today, just home for less than 24 hours, I am acutely aware of not hearing Telugu for the first time in 2 weeks.  I love that language.  I love the sound of the names of my Lord in that language.  I'm thinking of the word:  Yessaiah.....I'm sure I'm spelling it all wrong, but when a young Indian woman, draped in a colorful scarf, with her hands and face lifted to Jesus, sways back and forth, singing "Yessaiah"  as loudly as she can, with tears streaming down her beautiful brown face.......its worship.  Man, is it ever worship.  I already miss it.

It is so good to be home.  Thank you all for the parts you played in caring for my family and my home while I was gone.  I daily longed for home and all the people I love here.  I was never separated from the love of my family, my home, my church and my community.  God kept it all right under the surface of my heart while He revealed some of India to me.  I am so full of love and gratitude and anticipation of what God has in store for me.  Its never over, ya know.  There is always more.  We all need to be daily asking Him, "what's next, Lord".  I'll spend whatever time He gives me thinking through and sharing and praying into what I learned in India.  I'll be patient and ready for what He is planning. 

Today I'll do my laundry, get my feet back under me for work and household management routines, and spend time with my kiddos.  I'll savor the space and familiarity of my home.  I'll drink water with ice cubes floating in it.  I'll take a loooooooooong hot shower (again).  I'll cook a meal for my family (if I remember how to use the oven).  I'll drive my own car somewhere.  These are the things I likely took for granted until I couldn't do them for two weeks in India.  Love and blessings, over and over!

the difference love makes

We love because He first loved us.  I am struck by what a difference love makes.  I shouldn't be but I am.  Love, being God, of course.  Saturday we went shopping which was so wild.  It's a "day off" for the worship students and everyone does their own thing.  Sarah, her friend Julie from California and Deanne and I took rickshaws down to a shopping market.  We did some souvener shopping there, then went on to the mall which was very western feeling.  We ate at Subway-yey!  We shopped some more.  I had in my hand a cute outfit for Precious Maryn but was looking for something for the 2 girls from SCH that have been staying here all week.  They had come on a night bus the same night we came.  Whoever had packed their bags didn't have enough clothes for them and since the kids at SCH all share clothes, they didn't fit their bodies exactly.  It was fine, just not adorable.  As we wondered around this children's store, Deanne and I each picked out an outfit for the 2 children or anyone else Sarah felt would benefit.  I chose to put mine back for Precious and get the same thing in a bigger size for Victoria.  Sarah, being the proudest mama you could ever see to 3 bio kids and 82 (plus the potential for 18 more)kids, couldn't wait to put the new things on the girls back at the house.

They came out in their new outfits just beaming.  Victoria, who is 7, was beyond beaming.  She walked around showing everyone her pretty jumper, lifting her leg so we could feel the silky fabric.  She hadn't been that flamboyant before.  She knew she looked beautiful and she felt beautiful and I think she even knew it was a new outfit.  She only sees out of one eye, and not very well, so her other senses are much keener.  She likely smelled that it was new.  Genevieve also smiled brightly and swayed her shoulders a bit in her new dress. 

These two little darlings that we have been enjoying for a week may be technically labelled orphans but they are not.  They are beautiful covenant children of the living God.  There are more than 20 women around this worship school home that have been doting over them all week and they know that they are loved.  They know that they are beautiful and desirable and silly and snuggly and sweet.  From "rags" (not really rags but you get the point) to "riches" (again, not really but....)

I would love to send a box to the SCH address sometime in the future, filled with bright, nice clean stylish clothes, gently-used and brand-spankin new ones, so that I could imagine in my mind the joyful smiles of other kids as they parade around in new duds that don't smell and feel like the clothes they've all been wearing too long.  They clothing supply is running low.  Save your stuff if you can and when I get back I'll work on getting a box together to send.  Its expensive to ship to India but, trust me, its so worth it when you see what a difference love makes. 

idols

This morning as we were standing on the balcony, admiring the completed concrete driveway next door, a man from the residence invited us over to see the house.  It was very unexpected.  I had been skyping with my family and we ended the visit so that they could go to the computer and call me again, rather than on the ipod.  :)  Isn't technology grand? 

We accepted the invitation and walked down to their home.  As we stepped onto the porch, a man asked, "have you bathed today?"  Thank goodness we had!  Then we removed our shoes.  (everyone stays barefoot inside in India.  We hadn't had shoes on since we arrived tuesday morning, until we rushed out to visit the neighbors.)  They were proud to show us their new home.  It was decorated for the ceremony this morning, a hindu blessing because they were moving in today.  The hindu priests were doing their rituals over the man and wife of the home.  The daughters and other family were all around the home.  It was a surreal and amazing experience.  The home is still not finished, mostly concrete and construction inside and out, but they are moving in today.  They allowed us to take pictures which was very generous.  We thanked them and turned to go.  Neither us, nor our new friend Julie (who arrived yesterday from California and will stay through the end of the worship class June 24) knew exactly how to leave this place, that was so warm and welcoming, but so clearly hindu, filled with their idols and gods.  Julie asked, as we left, "May we pray for your home?  A prayer of blessing"  And may we pray to OUR God, to Jesus?"  They said we could.  So we did, there on the porch, facing the home with the daughters standing inside the doorway.  It was unbelievable.  When we got back to the front of our school of worship building, we again prayed on the driveway, for deliverance and release from any idol or threat or darkness that may have come from there, for protection and the blood of Jesus poured out on the whole thing, etc.  (Julie prayed, we just received and agreed, thankfully!). 

I was processing a bit later with Sarah, on why I did not feel threatened or attacked by the idol worship in that home.  I don't know for sure, but here's what I think of it.  Back home, in the USA, in my community even, there are lots of idols.  We make idols of our lifestyle, of our possessions, of our careers, even of our children, if they get between us and the Lord.  We "worship" our tv time, our appetites, our need for constant comfort and contentment.  Some of my home visits are in homes where there is no evidence of Jesus living there.  There is often skull and cross bones types of blankets, pictures, etc.  Dark and violent video games are played and some are very dark and goth.....the point is, that back home there are idols as well. 

As Christians, we are surrounded by them all the time.  Here, the difference is colorful, noisy, elaborate and clear.  It's easier in India actually.  I feel like I need to be more gaurded, and feel more threatened by the idols that surround me where I live, not where I visit.  Make sense?  Please continue to pray for us.  God is revealing himself so clearly and beautifully here in so many ways!  The girls we are working with love Jesus so much.  They can worship and pray and read their bibles for hours and hours, sometimes laying on the marble floor....they are having encounters with the Holy Spirit that are so beautiful.  I.  Want.  To.  Worship.  The.  Way.  They. Do.  All.  The.  Days.  Of.  My.  Life.

I never did get to reconnect with my family.  By the time that was all done it was bedtime, I'm sure.  I hope they call me or I can call them later to finish our talk.  I miss them all so much.  I can't see their faces or hear their voices or even pray for them without crying.  It is so hard to be separated from the ones I love most on earth.  And yet, the one I love most, in Heaven, has taken me here, to this wonderful country, to spend time with Him.  The Lord and I have waited a really long time to spend this much quality time together.  He is so generous and so kind and so merciful and so tender with my fragile heart and my lack of ability here.  I am not equipped to be here, which is exactly why I got to come.  Love to you all!

from India

Hi everyone!  As I write it is 12:45 in the afternoon, but 2:15am for you guys back home.  Its so wierd to be awake when you are sleeping and vice versa!  I was able to talk to Roger and the kids via skype yesterday morning which was good, but sad.  Made me miss you all terribly!  I think I'm finally getting right-side up from jet lag.  I feel more human and less dreamy today. 

We are spending our days at the Covenant School of Worship right now.  There are 18 young ladies, age 15 or so to mid-twenties.  Some are pastors wives and all are Christian.  It is so amazing to experience worship with them!  These young teen-age girls can worship and pray and be in the Word for hours and hours and hours.  They never complain.  They never break focus.  We are in awe.  Last night Deanne and I were ready to go up to the room, at 8:30pm which is when supper is served.  The girls were enjoying our feeble attemtp at worship-leading/singing/dancing.  We did Days of Elijah and some other fun songs with actions....and they didn't want to stop.  One girl, it pretty darn good English, said "No!  No Eat....Jesus is our Food!"....they would rather sing and dance than eat.  The girls are so affectionate and gracious and sweet.  We are completely in love with them all!  Their desire is to learn the keyboard and worship, and to know Jesus better.  Funny, those are my goals as well.

The food is good.  It's very different.  We eat rice 2 or 3 meals every day with different vegetables or egg or spicy, savory sauce, or chicken.  We've developed a richter scale for how spicy things are.  Someone tries it first and then we say, so how is it on the scale?  Its most helpful in dishing up.  They bring our food to a common area just outside of our bedroom, with comfy couches and a coffee table in the middle.  All the guests just wander in and dish up, sit around and visit, then leave the dishes out and the maid comes and clears things up, or we take the dishes to her.  She is also the laundress.  Our first day here we got to wash her doing laundry on the patio.  She would soak in a bucket, then wring them out, then wack the garment against the ground, then hang it up.  amazing. Also, just outside the door is a construction project in the building next to this one.  They have scaffolds made of stripped trees.  They are soddering pipes with a literal fire on the ground, started with wood matches.  they are grinding rocks and sand and making their own cement right before our eyes, then carrying heavy bowls of it to the path they marked off with heavy rocks yesterday, that will become a paved driveway.  It is unbelievable to watch.  It feels like we are not in 2011 but transported back in time.  It is such an honor to be here. 

Roger showed me how to put pictures on here from my camera but I may not take the time to do that.  Please go check out the updatesfromindia.shutterfly site.  I think deanne will get them up quicker.  I wish my pictures were turning out better.  The Kansas ladies that left last night had great photos.  I'm praying God will do a miracle with my lack of artistic ability and make mine look good! 

Ok, well lunch is here.  We think its red cabbage with a sauce....we are committed to trying everything...and then go to our stash of peanut butter, granola bars, etc. to get full.  Thanks for praying everyone!  Neither of us have gotten sick.  We are feeling filled to the fullness of Gods mighty love and power here.  He really is such an amazing and beautiful Lord.  Take care, all!

a very long day of travelling all the way Round the world. Took me to A plAce like nothing I have ever seen. I stood there on a concrete floor listening to beautiful Indian girls singing and Dancing and praying. It wAs hot but a breeze blew in from open doors behind us as the sun set. 2 of the kids from sch are here and were plAying in the room. How did I get to this wonderful, exotic, holy, strange and exciting place? On eagles wings, carried through by angels all around. God and I are in India together today.
(Deanne is here too of course.). :). all is well. No internationL plan for phone calls so I will Facebook, skype and blog my way through. I'm also typing from my phone so sorry if it looks odd. Very tired and off to bed soon for my first night in India!

The proclivity to....

I received a wonderful email from my boss today.  She referred to something wonderful called "the proclivity to live by your heart".  She was saying it in the context of a warning, that it could cause me danger both physically and emotionally.  I received this warning as a blessing and a compliment, which is exactly what she intended.  She's been to India.  Twice.  She hears me vent and beg and weap and ache for hurting women and children every day, here in the midwest.  Dead on, she found the arrow that pierces my life.  It is a very big word because it is a very big arrow.  It is my proclivity to live by my heart.  Proclivity means:  a natural tendancy, according to my husband's smart phone dictionary.  I have a natural tendency to live by my heart.  Yes I do.  My tendency is not to calculate risk or plan for distant future.  My tendency or proclivity is not to strive for contentment or material gain or a sense of being better than or more than any one else.  So help me God if I ever, and I mean ever use another human being as a stepping stone to make myself higher up.  It is my proclivity to live by my heart.  Guess what?  Jesus lives in my heart.  Cool, huh?

overwhelmed...in a good way

Today I am finishing up my work tasks, and am ready to have that settled.  I was nervous this morning, with all that still lies ahead to feel ready to travel in 4 days.  I was also nervous for a friend who was to meet her newborn daughter today....just a big day all around.  Nerves and lack of sleep make me feel overwhelmed, and tearful.  Today was a tearful day.  People are so kind.  Love and support and generousity and encouragement and excitement just poured out every time I turned around today.  I am so overwhelmed by kindness and mercy and just a sense of community.  It is a privelege to walk through this life with other Christians who believe in God's plan and His mercy and His Word.  Love God and Love Others.  I want to share this kind of living with the women we get to meet at the worship school.  I can't wait to have the chance to tell them about all of the love and support and giving we received before we even left home.  It is my prayer that everyone who knows and loves Jesus can experience the kind of day I had today.  It doesn't get much better than this, on this side of Heaven.

Tomorrow I will wrap up my packing, cross the last things off my list and get the kids squared away.  We will shift into dance mode for the next 3 days and I will purpose myself to live fully in every moment.  I will hold my kids a moment longer than usual and smell their hair and smile a few more times.  I will tell my husband "thank you" and "I love you" at least once each of the next 3 days so he really, really knows how grateful I am to be given the freedom to do this great thing.  I will pray quiet prayers, short prayers, familiar prayers that will blow me along until I can settle into my seat on the plane on sunday and then I will fully yield to the magnitude of what I am going to do.