Happy New Year!

Well, its the last evening of 2011.  When we wake up tomorrow, we will welcome 2012.  Isn't that awesome?  I love being able to recognize the ending and beginning of something.  It's just so very much "living in the moment."  Tonight we are taking our kids out for a grand gorging at the pizza buffet, then taking them home.  Then mom and dad are going to a movie.  I can't wait to sit next to my husband in a movie theater and watch a grown-up movie and be on a date!  Woo-hoo for 2012! 

Resolutions.  We can't not do them.  They summon us.  Goals....we should have them.  Well....maybe  tomorrow.

from "Kisses from Katie"

p. 91-92: " The truth is that there are children like this all over the world, sick, starving, dying, unloved, and uncared for.  The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children.  And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians.  The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left."

Shame on us.  How will we answer for this when we meet Jesus at the end of our earthly days.  Barely saved is just not good enough for Christians today.  It never was, but now with the ability to be aware, and the affluence to make changes in peoples lives....well we just can't not help. 

I'll beat the drum for Sarah's Covenant Homes in India.  Katie does it for Uganda.  Decide where you will start to make noise and do something.  I desperately want to adopt a special needs child from SCH.  I desperately want to return to India again and again to help Sarah with the SCH ministry.  The more I pray, and listen, and read and watch, the more I understand that my desperation is not selfish or crazy or unnecessary.  God needs us, His people, to reach out and grab hold of His children.  Maybe my desperation is exactly the heart of the Lord and when I pray, "God, line my desires and my will up to yours" that is exactly what He is doing.

You may get sick of hearing me talk about this but it's my blog and I can write it however I want to.  Every time I pick up a book, or read the bible, or tune in to Christian radio, I feel God speaking to me about the orphan children and their need to be parented.  They will not ever understand the love of a Heavenly Father if they have not known what is feels like to be loved.  Please, please love the children in the world today.  Love them here in the USA and everywhere you find them.  Love them with your heart, your prayers, your finances, your influence, your voices. 

Ok. So this has nothing to do with anything, except that it so accurately depicts what it feels like to "hit the wall". Claire was maybe, 5, Isaac 3....and this picture just blesses me. May we all hit the wall in such a sweet and peaceful way.

a wall of snow....several years ago. Snow? Where are you? It's December 29 and raining!

really big mountain wall

walls

the wall

I think I've hit the post-Christmas holiday wall.  I was cruising along, getting tons done everyday, including exercise and clean-up and work.....and today I went head-long into a very tall and heavy wall.  I started my day having coffee and breakfast and wonderful conversation with a dear friend....then dabbled a bit in work, then got a few groceries, then a meeting....thheeeeennnnn home to fix luunnnncchhhh........and layed down with Precious for a snooze........that didn't last nearly long enough for either of us.  Within an hour she was awake.....fussy.......tired.....maybe feverish......and she and I have been on the couch ever since.  She is weepy, fragile, out of sorts.  I kind of feel the same.  Shoot. 

I have to gear up and head out to do harp and bowl prayer tonight, which is wonderful.  It promises to be low-key and mellow as well, so maybe that's just the theme of the day.  Tomorrow starts New Year's Weekend, which may be wild and crazy for some, but around here, we may just keep lounging like lizzards and watching lots of tv and packing away Christmas stuff.  It just feels rather good to sit. 

In my sitting and wall-gazing, I am also praying.  Praying for my friends ministering in Haiti, in Ethiopia, and by tomorrow, in Liberia and in India.  The Hoekstra's should be ther by tomorrow evening.  I'm excited for them to touch down and get to loving on those kids....and just because I'm sitting anyway, I'm browsing flight information to see when I could find an affordable ticket to India myself....and since I'm praying anyway, I'm asking God for the reason and purpose and blessing to go back sometime soon. 

Huh, now it feels like I'm leaning on that wall I ran into.  It's rather heavy and supportive.  I think I'll stay here awhile.

Words Wednesday

I'm gonna try a "Words from God Wednesday" for awhile, as opposed to the Wordless Wednesday that is common in blogworld.  I probably won't last long, because there aren't that many.  I am, however, thinking alot about the words I have gotten, so I think I'll write about them...in no particular order.

"Equip my saints".  That one is recent....like, last week.  I heard it in the night and it has echoed in my thoughts ever since.  I may be considering it more heavily because of the trip to India that Deanne and her husband are taking tomorrow.  They are going to see my kids, our kids.  They will hold them, tickle them, sing to them, pray for them, love them.  If I can't go, then they should.  By encouraging them to heed God's call for their lives, by praying for them, by hearing their hearts regarding a restlessness, a longing to follow the Lord...I affirmed them and told them they weren't crazy.....they are going.  This may just be one step in a series of many for them, to get the the place God is leading....but they said "yes" and they are getting on a very large plane tomorrow morning and flying to India. Who knows where God will take them next, but I will be waiting, watching and praying.   In a very small, quiet, humble way....I did my part to equip these saints. 

These two friends are also acting like my hands and feet, and sharing my heart, with abandoned, special needs orphans.  This is how we share Jesus.  We are His hands and feet, sharing His heart, going to the places He cares about to love on those He has touched.  I am, you are, we are a mere extension of Jesus when we love like this.  It would be much easier to live in the 3D world of American pleasure, success, excess.  It would be much more comfortable to be a casual, comfortable Christian who does church and a few nice committees.  Because God pierced my heart for these kids, I am different.  My perspective is different.  I am uncomfortable all the time.  I'm not selling this to you because it feels good.  I'm selling it because it is good.  It is God-good.  I am offering an opportunity to all of you out in blogworld, to equip you as saints.  If you haven't moved yet, then move.  Out of comfort, into heartache, love, sacrifice, restlessness, longing, and things that make no sense.  Love orphans.  Start adopting them if God says you should.  Send money to places you will not get anything in return.....pray for someone.  Equip some saints.

help me pray

Hello friends. I am sending out a call for prayer.  Please help me pray.  I know that the prayers of just one avail much....but the voices of many are a symphony to the Lord...I just know it.  Please help me pray.  On thursday, in just 2 days, there are some big things happening.  I will be praying from the moment I wake up, on the 29th, until I go to sleep, and maybe even in my dreams.  The trouble is, I would like to just cancel my day, my duties, my life, and go to a quiet cabin somewhere on a hill.  I would like to light candles, play music, open my bible and my journal....and sit quietly before the Lord.  I would like to listen and to intercede and to pray for my friends who are all travelling around the world, on Thursday, to be a light for Jesus.  Unfortunately, I have to do some visits for work, and take care of my 4 kids who are home on Christmas break, and then lead prayer worship for our weekly harp and bowl prayer meeting.  So!  I won't be on the hillside, in a cabin, at a rustic wooden table with a candle and the Word....I will be doing the business of life.  But I will be praying.  In my car, around the house, to and fro....as I sing, as I listen, as I move about.  I will pray for Ms. Arlene, an 87-year old prayer warrior/intercessor/former missionary and friend.  She is travelling to Africa with a drama troupe who will enact a play of her time in Ethiopia.  I will pray for a local group of friends and their younger college companions, who are going to Haiti to love on some orphan kids, and to minister to those they meet on the streets, and to share the light of Jesus.  Taunya, Greg and Erica....I am lifting you up.  I will pray for the Baart family as they go to Liberia, to sow seeds into their passion: One Body One Hope.  These are all local people from my community, by the way.  And finally, I will be praying for my dear sweet Jesus sister Deanne and her amazing husband Brian.  They are blogging their trip at White Stone Soup (find it on my side bar if you click "show all").  They are going back to Ongole, India, to Sarah's covenant Homes, to meet the new kids we prayed home this August.  They are going to serve and love and learn and listen and be ready for whatever God wants to reveal to them.  I will be praying.  I am aching in prayer already, so by Thursday I will really, really, really need some help.  Thanks, all of you who will take it to heart, and help me pray.

Christmas, 2011.

at the end of the day.....

Here I am, at the end of the day. Christmas was wonderful today.  The kids woke us up early for gifts, then breakfast, then quick showers and off to church.  My folks came over for coffee and egg nog and the kids got to show off their loot.....then a very laid back lunch....and a much needed nap for mom.  Then we geared back up for our last party of the season at my mom's extended family....with bingo and yummy food....and were home by 9.  The kids are all sleeping (including their dad) and I'm just sitting in a quiet, post-Christmas house.  It is just lovely.  Merry Christmas to me.  We cleaned up the living room so that I could sit here with candles burning, the tree lit up, and be quiet and still....at the end of the day.  Aaahhhh.

Our pastor today, spoke of the "sequel" to Christmas....meaning Easter, then Pentecost.  It doesn't end at Christmas.  What a wonderful Christmas morning message.  Christmas is the beginning, not the end.  It may be at the end of the year, but it is the beginning of the reflections, the learning, the leaning into our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  Next, we turn our attention to Easter, and embracing the cross, and the sacrifice for our salvation.  Later, at Pentecost, we say "yes" to the Holy Spirit, coming down, to replace Jesus on Earth, to refine us, help us, convict and comfort us....so at the end of the day, I am actually leaning into my tomorrows.

Merry Christmas everyone.  I have one hour and fifteen minutes left of this one and I plan to see it through to the end.  I do love Christmas alot. 

candlelight service

If you happen to attend my church, you likely saw me toward the back, quietly crying through much of the candlelight Christmas Eve service tonight.  Precious Maryn fell asleep just before the sermon(Praise God from whom all blessings flow) and the timing was divine.  Our pastor was preaching on Immanuel, God with Us....no matter what.  Ms. Wendy Gomez, before she left for India, shared with us that Immanuel was her blessing, her prayer while in India.  Whenever I hear the word, which is often lately, I lift her up in prayer.  It is a beautiful connection for me, between Christmas, India, my sweet friend who is there loving on all the precious babes....and the reason for the Season.  God is with us.  I was feeling this truth so heavy in church tonight.  God was there, with us.  I was just telling Him that I loved Him, and He was allowing me to feel His love in this house of worship, surrounded by my family and friends....and His Presense was very heavy to me.  I became aware, with a deep ache in my chest, of everyone in this church, who was hurting right now, who needed to feel the love of the Savior, the truth that He did come, to be with us and help us and deliver us....

Like a wave, a fresh truth washed over me.  Jesus came for me.  Jesus came to earth as a baby, in flesh, humble, weak, fragile....and He did it for me.  Christmas is for me.   The Holy Night of my Savior's birth means that I get to live forever in Heaven with Him.  Wow.  I clearly saw how hurt and broken and alone I would have been, if Jesus had not come down to earth that night, that Holy Night.  I clearly saw how aweful my life would have stayed if not for Him.  And I cried.  And cried.  And cried.  I could not stop crying.  I walked out, carrying my sleeping toddler, quite a mess.  I didn't want to tell anyone why I was crying.  I didn't want to explain it to my husband or my kids.  It was my treasure tonight....for a few moments, anyway.  I got it.  Fresh.  Painfully, fresh.  Again, as I write it, I feel it fresh.  It hurts.  It really does.  We sang Silent Night, Holy Night....and I couldn't sing.  I just sat and listened and worshipped my King, my Lord, my Saviour.  He came for me.  And for you.  For us.

prayers

Early this morning, I was in that yummy place of partly awake and partly asleep.  I love that place.  I began to pray, as I often do.  A name comes to mind, I lift up that person, and fall back to sleep, and wake up, and pray another prayer for someone or something....and often God speaks into my prayers.  This is not a special thing, or a rare thing.  It is available to us all.  Please try it sometime.  Grow your prayer life to include those very sweet places at the start and end of each day.  This morning, I had been praying for some children I know and love, whose mamas had asked me to pray.  Love that, by the way.  Bring it on.  As I was sleeping and praying, I felt God say this to me, "Equip my saints.  Raise up a generation of worshippers and intercessors and in missions"  I repeated it several times to make sure I didn't forget it.  Yey me, I finally got it right and didn't forget when I got up!  Praise God!

I love this little directive from God for many reasons.  It speaks to me as a mama.  Yes, Lord.  I will parent my kids in such a way that they will learn to worship, to pray, and to live and work for you.  It speaks to me in my love for children as a whole.  Adults make me a bit crazy.  They often disappoint me, or upset me, or unnerve me.  Not kids.  Kids are set apart in a most special way.  God's hand is on them in a very pure and blessed way.  I love to spend time with children.  I also like this little message because it gives me something to work with.  Here's how it goes.

God speaks to me, and it sounds like something from the bible, but not sure.  I start to look things up, watching for key words and phrases....and God leads me through a bible study, or a scripture to meditate on, or a lesson.  Sometimes it happens in one sitting, sometimes I stay there for days and weeks.  I am sharing this with you all so that you can join me.  He didn't tell just me to equip the saints and raise up a generation of worshippers and intercessors.  I sure can't do that all by myself.  We all must, so that the generation coming up has the tools needed for whatever unfolds in history for them.  God is asking us to ready our children.  Yes, Lord.  Of course. 

Ephesians 4 is where I'm starting.  Please let me know if you find other bible verses that sow into this.  Bible only, not opinion at this point please.  Verse 12 starts:.....to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every resect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.  From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (through verse 16.)

revised Christmas list for Santa....5 days before Christmas

1.  Please keep us healthy through Christmas.
2.  Please send just a bit of snow.
3.  Please help us feel grateful, generous, kind and loving to everyone....in Jesus' precious name.
4.  Please help my friends and family to understand how much they mean to me.
5.  Please deliver my friends who are travelling to India, Haiti and Africa, safe and sound, on the wings of Eagles, in God's mighty hands.

on this day

On this day, December 19, 16 years ago.....he got down on one knee in the snow and gave me a ring.  I said, "yes"......and have been saying "yes" ever since.  I'm so glad he asked.

looking back

As I scrolled through the pictures of Christmas past, I was just transported back.....starting 7 years ago, because that is when we started with a digital camera.  7 years ago....and I can almost feel that Christmas, with 3 little kids who were so needy.  I had to put all their gear on if they were going out to play in the snow.  They came in crying because they were cold and wet, and I had to strip them down, dry them off, fill them with cookies and hot chocolate.....and then do it all over again hours later.  Those were good times.  My, how we change year after year.  As I see the transition from Christmas to Christmas, it is my prayer that God will transform us spiritually just as clearly.  I want to change every year for the better, grow, mature....just like these photos reveal in my little birds.  Lord God, please make it so.  I'm so busy and distracted and I long to just be with you, to rest in you, to learn from you, to hear from You, God, this Christmas.  Bring me into your Presence, God.  Let me sit before you with an eager smile, like children do when they pose for a picture in front of the Christmas tree.  waiting, hoping, wondering about the gifts that are coming.....Lord, I am also waiting, hoping and wondering about Your gifts for me this year. 

Oh, come let us adore you, Jesus.

7 years ago

6 years ago

5 years ago

4 years ago

3 years ago....

2 years ago.....

last year

Phoebe....on her birthday.

Judah

Cassia

Jodi and Dorothy

Aloe

twins, Amulya and Dhivena

who can you have?

If you'd like to follow (i.e. claim in your heart as your own special child....one loved by the Lord, orphaned by the world.....waiting.....)one of the SCH kids and support them financially and in prayer, here are children who do not have a "someone" yet.  If you want to just do a financial gift to the address in Montana, then the full 100% goes to the orphanage.  Paypal takes a bit, and the exchange rate of rupees to dollars changes.  Right now it's really good.  Anyway.  Here are kids you could choose from.  If you want help seeing pictures of any of them, I'll do my best.  I have at least one photo of each child, minus the 2 newest baby girls...but can get at that as well.  :) 

Jamila (pick her, please pick her!), Jackie (her too), Cassia (held her myself), Winnie, Tessa, Margaret, dinah, Elodie, Jodi (my beach buddy from June), Eleanor, Zinnia, Lydia, Jasmine, Genevieve, Jeanette, Molly, Esther, Dorothy( other beach buddy in June), Felecia, Melina, Lily, Susan, Victoria, Ginger, Phoebe, Stacy, Stephanie, Katheleen, Amy, Aloe, Paula, Rhoda, Zoe, Amanda, Grace, Glory, Annie, Meghan, Christina, Dhivena, Amulya, Wendy, Evan, Asher, Cedar, Valor, Ezra, Andrew, Brent, Thomas, Judah, Palmer, Aaron, Barnabas, Elijah, Jeff, Charlie, Silas, Sam, Nicky, Santosh, Prakash, Isaac, Justin, Nathan, Michael, Jason, Christopher, Jasper, David, Caleb, Jeremiah, Daniel, Jared, Levi, Josheph, Shephen and Rasool.

I have to say that as I was typing names, my heart was just aching....thinking that these names could be special to a family, their pictures could be on the fridge, or in a frame on the mantle...it would be just so wonderful if at least one Christian family could claim each of the special orphans at Sarah's Covenant Homes in India.  Wow.  God is pretty big.  I believe he could make it happen.  He loves these kids so much. 

What if each child not only had one family, but one CHURCH family......what could happen to the future of India, as the gospel of Jesus is shared?  What could happen to the churches of America, if we would gather in the lost, the hurting, the orphaned, the widowed, the poor....for absolutely no personal gain.....other than the blessing and favor of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Who can you have?

SCH kids

I'm feeling nudged by the Lord to push for awareness and opportunity to commit to the SCH kids in 2012.  I fell in love with Rachel in 2009, while we were waiting to adopt Precious Maryn.  I wept for her, prayed for her, begged Roger to let us start the adoption process for her.  My friend Jen and I asked our husbands for the gift of sponsoring her that year for Christmas so we split the $150.00 monthly cost.  Many people cannot do a huge monthly amount, but even half or a fourth of that is significant when it goes to pay regular bills at the orphanage.  Diapers, meds, clothes, school tuition, food.....for 111 kids.  Please consider sponsoring a child at SCH this year for the holidays.  My life has been radically changed since I first found this orphanage, and fell in LOVE with these children that God rescued through Sarah Rebbavarapu.  She stepped out in faith to accept each of these children, not knowing where the provision would come....and it comes daily from God, through the fellowship of other Christians who say "yes" to the biblical mandate to care for orphans. 

Sponsored fully are:  Alina, Hannah, Benjamin, Chelsea, Emma, Gabe, Honor, Hope, Joshua, Keren, Kumar, Max, Monica, Nolaan, Nora, Promise, Rachel (she's mine  :) ), Rebekah, Ruthie, Solomon.  Partial sponsorship (so feel free to sign up for these kids) is April, John, Melanie, Naomi and Serene. 

I'll go hunt up my list of all the kids and try to list who is still available.....but since I am administratively handicapped, that could take awhile.  Feel free to visit Sarah's blog or facebook page to see the kids' pictures.  Sarahscovenanthomes.blogspot.com.  Or Sarah's Covenant Homes page on facebook. 

Ho ho ho! 

Delicious

This week, Precious Maryn learned to say "delicious"....in context even.  By that, I mean she pretended she was nibbling me and then said, "mom, you are delicious".  Yep, that's what she's used to having done.  Nibbling.  She is quite delicious.  And smart.  She is counting to at least 14....and can sometimes tell the difference between big and little....and gets half her colors right....and says "bless you" when I sneeze.  Sigh.  she's really smart.  and sweet.  And adorable.  I love her so much.  I even love that she is fiesty and intense and demanding.  She knows she is worthy of my love and attention and affection. 

I cannot believe I get to be a mom to these 4 great kids.  They are all wonderful, sweet, precious gifts from the Lord.  What do I want for christmas this year?  To cherish my blessings, to be thankful and generous and kind.  I want to enjoy my children and my husband and the holiday cheer.  It is all quite delicious from where I sit this year.

Apologies for not getting a Christmas card/photo out this year.  We'll work harder on it next year and get it on your refrigerators by early December 2012!

correction

was driving east not west.  I'm guessing you all figured that out because the sun was rising in FRONT of me....thought I had checked for mistakes.  oops.

God's timing

For 2 days now, I have been made more aware of God's impeccable, irrefutable....freakishly perfect timing.  He is sovereign.  He is Holy.  He is Power....and He is so much in control.  Lately, He is showing me just how much....through little, quiet, modest and yet extravagant things.  Maybe He is showing me His timing to grow my faith.  I bet He wants to teach me to trust Him.  Maybe He is showing me, just because He can....and it pleases Him....and He knows I'll get the "hee-bee-gee-bees" when I get how awesome what He can do, actually is....

Yesterday morning, I was driving west at 6:30am, to go give that talk to that Christmas brunch ladies' group.  It was a dark, calm, peaceful morning.  The lunar eclipse happened yesterday, and as dawn rose....the full moon began to be shadowed behind me.  I saw light coming from the direction I was heading....and the moon began to be eclipsed behind me.  The symbolism there is extravagant, in and of itself.  I am so glad I am moving in the direction of light....and from the darkness....and this particular event only happens every 100 years.  I thanked the Lord for getting me up and out of the house to experience it.  To know what He does....simply because He can...as the creator, and scientist, and artist.  I listened to The Nutcracker Suite as I travelled, because it is soothing, and exceptional...and because I seldom get to really hear it.  I heard it.  It was amazing.  I was watching the light rise....somehow forgetting that the sunrise actually includes seeing the actual sun...  rise....

I was praying, and thanking God for this beauty, this tranquility, this rare moment to be fully present....and I just felt how much He loves me.  God loves me.  I began to pray for my family, my future, Gods plans.  I prayed for India, and the orphans, and whether or not we would adopt again....and I was just yielding my will and my dreams and my heart to the Lord.....and then the bright crimson sun peeked over the horizon.  It was wide and full and radiant....and I was in awe.  It's been a really long time since I saw the sun rise.  The cd of the symphony ended and it was quiet for a brief moment....I was at a place in the road where I had to stop and then turn.  The silence exploded with that sunrise.  Music began on the cd that was in my player, and had been in there for months and months unnoticed.  It was Josh Wilson....and he sang...."If a sunrise somehow gives you hope.....if a newborn baby stirs something in your soul....if a symphony inspires you...." and I just lost it.  God led me through a perfect symphony, to a sunrise, to prayer, to worship, to love, to a pause.....on the way to a public speaking endeaver.....and He totally swept me up.  In His timing.  Just cuz he can.  I wept, and messed up my make-up and cried some more. 

He is the king of timing.  He is the author of perfection....it all things.  He has the ability to have someone read a book with a theme, and then have that theme carried out in the scripture read in front of church for Advent.  He has perfect timing.  He speaks to us through His timing....to get our attention, to gleen our awe.  He has mine.  I am in awe.  I could never get to where God is with timing.  I am in.  I'm in for the long haul.  I will do what He wants and go where He sends me.  He is worth it....and the bonus is in the symphony, the newborn baby, the sunrise.  He is so worth it. 

my day

The trouble with "living" is that you can't take the time to capture every moment with a photo....but today was the kind of day that would have warranted a collage of them.  I would love to be able to post a series of pictures that tell the story of my day.  Sorry.  I was living.  I was not taking pictures.  Thank you to all who sincerely prayed for me.  I felt them.  I needed them.  God enjoyed and used them.  May you be blessed beyond measure for your service to the King.

the pictures in my mind

Tomorrow I'm going to speak at that women's brunch I mentioned before.  If it appeals to you, I would covet prayers for that event.  I am really excited to do it, but the getting it ready/travelling there/travelling home part will be more work than the "giving it".  The topic is Hearing God's Voice.  As I think about that, and look at my life so far, I just feel so amazingly grateful that I do hear His voice.  I do see Him.  I do know Him.  Christmas....parenting.....work....all of it would be so shallow without the Presence of my Savior. 

Last night I had two very vivid pictures in my mind I would like to share.  The first was after someone asked me, "how are you?".....loaded question, people.  My answer is seldom, "good"....but much more descriptive.  For example, "Well....I sort of feel like I'm sitting on santa's sleigh.....and it's loaded with toys and jobs and lists and duties.....and I am not sure if it will get off the ground.  Those darn reindeer keep lurching forward, ready to go, wanting to fly....and I am just leaning back, saying-whoa!  wait!  Hold on!  Linger.....pause....savor.....rest.....but the night is filled with stars and the moon is bright and the sleigh is charged and the deer want to MOVE!'  So, that's how I am.

The second picture in my mind came at our harp and bowl prayer service.  I was praying and singing and I just saw so clearly, a picture of Moses, holding his staff in one hand, with arms raised....and the walls of water, so powerful, on either side, parted, with dry ground between them.  His arms were shaking with the weight and power of the task.....and I just knew that Moses was our prayers in that place, as we prayed for unity in marriages, and in our relationship with Jesus as the Bridegroom of us, the Church.....and in our prayers, Jesus came in and walked across the dry land, between the walls of water....and it was so beautiful.  Prayer is so powerful.  Jesus comes when we pray.

So, those are my pictures in my mind this day.  It's home day with Precious and it is lovely.  I hope you all are having a lovely friday as well.

For the birds

The other day I waited until after the snow was done falling. My backyard birds have been quite faithful since we moved in, and the numbers keep increasing so I am watchful, and a bit excited, about the experience. These birds are amazing. They are fast, they are graceful, they are ruthless...and committed to their task. They are really fun to watch. I realize it's a sign of old age, to enjoy watching birds. I get it. The fact is, that I have an amazing backyard. It is tranquil, it is serene, it is therapeutic. Those who have been reading awhile know that I often refer to my family, my kids, as the birds in my nest....so there are multiple applications to be had....right outside my rear window. Here is just one of them. After the snow on saturday night, I went out and spread fresh birdseed around the yard. It was quiet and I hadn't seen my backyard visitors yet. I was eager to see who would come first. I always watch for the cardinals. There is a pair and it is unfair to prefer them. They are just striking...and have good manners...but anyway...the seed was out and so I watched, and waited. The birds didn't come. Until Monday. On Monday I got to watch a winterfest party in action. They came in droves....they came in pairs....they came adult with baby bird....and they chirped and squalked and dipped and soared and fought and flew and ate and ate and ate....it was so much fun. I was only home for a short time, but the bird-fest was unbelievable....they were having a blast! It was like, in the summer, when the neighborhood kids are here in the pool, and everyone is laughing and swimming and diving and feeling filled with life.....only with birds! As I was savoring the moment, smiling, I was prayerful. I was attentive. God showed me that He does this for us. He gives us the manna for the day, the seed for the meal....and just when we need it. He waits until we will see His provision, then he spreads it around, and sits back to watch us consume it. He delights in it. He gets pleasure from watching us get what we need, what we love, what we were created to do....and He knows that we will consume it all. It is only for the moment, the day, the hour. My birds have eaten every last kernal. I need to go out tomorrow and give more. God will do the same. Each day, there will be fresh provision for me, for you, for us. He wants us to enjoy it. He wants us to have a party with it, and to invite our friends to the backyard, to the table, to the feast....so be ready, friends. Be ready for fresh snowfall, and fresh provision, and fresh delight from the Father. I want to be like the birds. I want to enjoy the feast provided by the One who pays attention, who knows, who is always aware of my need.

Baby Margaret

I got this from Erin's facebook page.  She had just fed sweet Margaret and she is resting....this is a huge answer to prayer.  I didn't think this little one would make it at one point, she was so ill.  Please pray that she continues to heal and gain strength....

graphic picture from Sarah's blog...

Here's baby Emma. 

Emma, with her newly placed shunt to drain the fluid in her head.  She is so strong....pray that her body heals and that God heals her.  Pray she already feels the love of Jesus poured out for her, that she would know her Lord and how he is using so many to touch her little life. 

marasmus

Taking a short break from holiday cheer to post about a word I didn't know before this week.  Marasmus.  My friends in India have labelled it as a condition of a few of the most fragile, sickly, emaciated kiddos....I've been a nurse for 17 years.  I'm sure I learned it at some point, but because of who I am and where I live, it wasn't something I ever needed to consider.  I googled it.  You can as well, for the official definition....basically it means that when a person has been starved of food and nutrients long enough, the body starts to break down protein (muscle) and weaken.  In my layman's terms, that translates to this.  When your body no longer has anything to use to burn energy and keep the organs going....it begins to burn itself.  It consumes its own parts, namely, muscle.  This makes me so sad.  It also makes me sick.  Two babes, Emma and Margaret, have this condition.  They are skin and bones.....because their survival instinct knew enough (placed by God the scientist) to burn the muscle to stay alive.  Have you ever had to fight this hard to stay alive?  Have you ever had to get to the end of your very fiber of being....only to know that the last resort is to consume yourself?  My goodness.  I haven't.  The worst, darkest, most miserable days of my life were nothing compared to every day of these precious babies' lives. 

They are just newborn babies....they haven't even started to live yet.  They are still just trying not to die.  They likely don't know rest or peace or contentment or warmth or love....oh.....wait a minute.....yes, they do.  Sarah took them in.  Sarah opened her already full and busting heart of love, and made room on her exploding lap....and she said yes.  Marasmus may be a factor, but love came down to touch Emma and Margaret.  Love is praying for them, feeding them through Erin and Cassie and the hospital staff and the Ayahs.....love is rocking them and weeping over their broken little bodies.  Love found them and they are alive.  Sanctity of Life sunday is in January, for our churches, and I just feel like we have no idea what that means....but Emma and Margaret do.  Sarah and Erin and Cassie and the ayahs do.  Surgeons who spared no expense to do spinal taps and place brain shunts to.  Marasmus knows what sanctity of life means. 

I try to increase the protein in the food I eat, so that I can stay full longer and try to shed unwanted pounds....how completely indulgent and pathetic is that?  Emma and Margaret would likely beg, borrow and steal to have the protein back in their bodies, that I choose to avoid if I choose a cookie instead of a boiled egg. 

I'm listing marasmus as one of my enemies.  I'm going to read the psalms and when the word "enemy" comes up, I"ll put marasmus in there instead....and pray that God will strike down my enemy, defeat my enemy, and eliminate it in Jesus name. 

What's on your Christmas list this year?